Such is my life!

Pete came home last night sicker than a dog... He has been fighting some kind of cold or virus for almost a week now... I guess last night was the last straw!

Due to his job... diesel mechanic.. he doesn't have a nice climate controlled place to work and so therefore has steadily gotten sicker with our subzero temps over the course of the week!

I said that to say this... Why????

Why would he get sick so close to D-day?? I don't want to leave my hubby behind while I run off to the hospital... especially since I don't want to be alone if Josiah does have problems... I am finding myself today hoping against hope the baby holds out now till Pete gets better... And also that Emma and I don't get sick... I am afraid that if Emma were to get this upper respiratory thing that it would send her into a bout of Croup... Please no! That was horrible last time! That is all I need! A baby in the hospital... a sick husband... and me in labor!

Pete just called me... It is official he has bronchitis... Doc sent him home with an antibiotic and a cough suppresent... Oh and the best part of all... He is contagious! Yippy skippy...

Nothing else to report on the baby front... Other than the usual contractions that kept waking me up last night... Come out Josiah... Come out... Anyone have any natural remedies for that?? Besides Castor Oil ( I am not fond of diarrhea!) or you know what (couldn't even if I wanted to!)????

Oh and I almost forgot.. sorry for that little blip with the template... I was trying things out yesterday and got interrupted! Everything is back to normal...

My somewhat good news...

I had an appointment today with my midwife...

Basically the same old stuff different day... Baby looks fine... I look fine... Well aside from the additional three pounds I have put on... Ugh!

So my good news... If for some reason I go past my due date she said that due to the situation with all my contractions and how uncomfortable I am she would induce me at 41 weeks not 42 which is the usual protocol...

Thanks... I guess....

Today I went out to try and walk this crazy baby out! Emma, Nana and I went to the mall and walked around for two hours... Then to Toy's R Us and then to Walmart... If I didn't succeed in putting myself into labor tonight I sure as hey made myself sore!!

Well it was worth the try I guess.

The Full Moon

I just found out that the next full moon is this Thursday the 15th...

Now while I have resigned myself that our little guy isn't going to come until January do you think that it really hurts to hope for labor to spark during the full moon???

Finally! Some Christmas pictures!

Ah... The long awaited tree pictures... Very nicely uploaded with our new cable internet... I must comment on how nice it is to be able to upload a picture in a matter of seconds... Sigh... I love my new internet...


Daddy laying in the snow cutting down the tree... At one point he yelled at me and Emma and told us it was coming our way... But I just laughed and said... Nope it is about to land on you!!
Me and Emma carrying the tree back to the trolley... Thank God you couldn't see how big I was in this picture!!
Here is Emma trying to put some decorations on the tree... It was so cute when she couldn't get them on... She would pout and then bring them to us...
Here is our finished product... Now there are presents under the tree... Amazingly enough Emma hasn't really bothered them yet! And we only have a week and half to go... so we will see!

So I just have to say... It is about time that our family got up with the times and got some highspeed internet! We ended up going with the cable... Steep prices... but nice when you spend most of your free time on the net!

Okay... so here is what I have decided... Josiah isn't coming until January... If he comes before then then I will be highly surprised and excited... But I am tired of getting my hopes up with every twinge.. So now... I am shooting to have the first New Year's Baby so I can be on TV and get free stuff!!! How fun would that be! Plus I am thinking maybe it would be better if he was born AFTER Christmas so his birthday won't be mixed in and forgotten about during the holidays...

This week is bad for us anyways... For the next few nights it is going to be in the single digits temperature wise... Tonight it will be ZERO... which for those of us out here away from the city means below zero...

37 weeks

I have officially made it to full term pregnancy...

So... because of this... and due to the fact that Emma was born at 37w5d I am becoming antsy to say the least...

I am extremely tired of being pregnant... I am tired of having contractions all the time... I am tired of Josiah grinding his head into my bones... I am tired of all of it... Oh yeah... I am also tired of the fact that I seem to not be able to empty my bladder anymore either... so I have that pain too!

But definitely most of all I am tired of the contractions... I have endured them longer this time... and I think I deserve a medal of some sort... whaddya think?? I am sick of having them strong hard and regular for two or three hours then mysteriously stop all together... It is getting to the point now where I would gladly welcome all the pitocin in the world to get them to stay around and do something...

Last night and this morning has been particularly hard... They have been stronger and more painful then they have ever been so far... I hope it is a sign.. cause if not I might just go crazy...

Anyways... on a lighter note... We will have cable internet as of tomorrow... We found out Friday that we can't have DSL here because we have old phone lines... Stinks! Cause now we got to pay for the dumb cable internet... which I might add isn't exactly cheap!! But I guess since we keep in contact this way we have no choice... Oh so to whom it may concern... we will be getting you all our new email address...

So in the next few days I should have those pics up of Emma and the Christmas tree... It will be nice to be able to do that in a matter of minutes!

Keep thinking baby thoughts!

Our last night out

Tonight was probably Pete and I's last night out for a long time... Come to think of it it was actually the first in a long time too!!

Anyways... We went to Garcia's for a late lunch... Both of us secretly hoping the mexican spices would send me into labor...

Then we went to see a late matinee... We chose Narnia... so I thought I would come on and tell everyone what I thought...

It was good... for a book made into a movie... but my opinion is that the symbolism that C.S Lewis was trying to get across was totally lost in the movie for the most part.

If I was an unbeliever I think that I would receive the message and understand what Lewis was trying to portray better through the book... I am not sure how an unbeliever would see the symbolism in the movie..

But all in it was a good way to spend a few hours... We will probably end up buying the movie...

No news yet on the other!

Tried and failed

Well I tried to upload some pictures again... but to no avail!!

Oh well...when we get cable internet here in a week or so I will be sure to get them up before Christmas... Come to think about it... It will be nicer to upload pictures of the new edition when he decides to show as well!!

Everyone think baby thoughts this weekend!!

What could this mean??

I woke this morning in extreme discomfort...

It would seem that the baby dropped sometime in the night... well that is the only thing that I can think anyways! And if that is the case I know exactly when it happened... 6am... I woke to a horrible pain and the sensation of him rolling his head around in my pelvis... it was terrible!! I had to get up to see if I could get him to move!

It now is very uncomfortable to sit for very long... I can no longer bend over... and if I move just right I get this shooting pain in my pubic bone and am rewarded with a miniature baby head twisiting around in my pelvis... Not to mention the constant urge to go to the bathroom... and not just pee...

Boy if I have to deal with this for the next three weeks I could become very cranky!!

Oh and also... tons of cramping today... Not necessarily contractions... although I still get those... but a crampy kind of period pain...

Oh well.. I have resigned myself to just assume he isn't coming till January... Hey.. New Year's baby would be nice... then we could be on tv and get free stuff!!

Christmas Pictures... and um... I guess some nesting...

Okay so I was going to post some pictures of Pete, myself and Emma hunting for Christmas trees and decorating it as well as the finished product... but either stupid blogger or my dumb connection won't let me do it!!!

Along the same lines though... I got some good news today... Our current internet provider is no longer going to provide dialup service... the bad part was that I was getting it for free... so now if we want internet we will have to pay someone! So... since it will cost us about $15 we are going to look into DSL... Highspeed dialup... The best part of all this is that it will no longer take FOREVER to upload pictures... pages... and email and stuff... I am actually kinda excited about it... even if we will have to put out some money...


Okay so on with the nesting part of my topic... Today I was sitting thinking about how much I wanted to clean... um... not like me at all.. I usually do it because it has to be done... not because I have any desire to do so..

This is what I got done....

• I made two loaves of pumpkin bread
• Six pounds of fudge
• Cleaned and vacuumed Emma's room
• Cleaned... top to bottom... the works... Emma's bathroom.
• Cleaned the living room... straightened everything up and vacuumed
• Cleaned the kitchen... we are talking dishes... counters... table... Disinfected every flat surface I could find... cleaned the stove... Put away a bunch of dishes and things we aren't using right now... then swept and mopped the floor.
• Three loads of laundry... which I am going to go fold after this....

So the only thing left that I want to do is...

• Clean our bedroom... top to bottom...
• Clean our bathrrom... top to bottom...
• Change our sheets... ( I want to have clean pillow cases on the pillows I take to the hospital!
• Pack my bag...

I am kinda hoping to get it done tonight... but I am not sure how that is going to go since it is ten after 8... Although if I have enough gumption I could always stay up till midnight to finish it...

So that is the news on this end... and trust me everyone... if there was a baby... you would know about it!!!

Edited to add.... Um... 9:45pm... finished the list... boy am I pooped... I just pray Emma sleeps tonight so I can get some rest...

Just another day in paradise

Well I made it another day... Although I know everyone thinks I am actually in the hospital right now... Such is not the case.

I stopped contracting... UGH!! As annoying as it was I would have liked it to continue so that maybe this crazy baby would come out!

I did have a bout of contractions this afternoon. But they amounted to nothing... I am currently contracting again as of about an hour ago... We shall see..

My mom says he has to be born tomorrow... it is her birthday! Happy Birthday Mom...but I don't think you will be getting your birthday wish... sorry!

Today a lady from church... a friend... came at around 7am to watch Emma while hubby and I got some much needed rest. She then stayed all day and let me take a nap... Heavenly!!

As I was laying in my bed this afternoon this thought came to me... This is probably the first time ever in all of Emma's life that I have been given a break... at my house... where I can enjoy my bed! Sure she has been to grandma's a couple of times and Pete and I have been on dates... but how nice was it to be able to have someone come and watch Emma without any of us having to leave?

I need to get this off my chest as well... So that hopefully when I get baby fever in a year I can come back and read it... I hate being pregnant... To me it is a means to an end... Pregnancy and Bekah DO NOT get along... My back problem is ten times worse during pregnancy... my uterus thinks she is too good to carry human life... and my head is convinced it is okay to continue to create massive migraines in the face of no medication...
I am sooooo discouraged right now... I could punch things.. but what would that solve... all I want to do is curl up and cry my eyes out... Even though I know that they is a light at the end of the tunnel I am failing to see it... I bite everyone's head off... I basically feel VERY depressed and I am just plain sick of people asking me how I feel... How do you think I feel people??? Don't you have something better to ask me!?? The one thing that keeps me going are the few people that continually encourage me and gently remind me that I can do this and it is almost over... I just keep thinking about the baby... the reward... although in this case I am afraid to get my hopes up... When we were told in August that Josiah had a cyst on his brain I have been worried about it since... I do have some peace that he will be okay... but there is this other part of me that is getting very scared as we get closer to due date... The cyst can indicate Trysomy 18... A deadly defect... most babies die within hours of birth... The neonatologist doesn't seem worried... although it is his job to give all the gory details and possibilities... My midwife doesn't seem worried although it is her job to not say one way or the other!! I can only hope that a few months from now I will look into the smiling face of my son and realize that he made it! That God created him just they He wanted him to be...

Oh I almost forgot... to top off all this nastiness with myself Emma seems to be coming down with a cold... Fun!!!

I am with Jamie on this one... Come to the light Josiah... the bright light!!

The verdict

Well after a bad weekend of contractions and two nights of no sleep I decided to give in and call the midwife. I started contracting Saturday night and by Sunday morning they were ten minutes apart. All day long this went on. Then last night at about 1 am they started to get closer together... until they ended up being 4 minutes apart and very painful... I tried all kinds of positions... Nothing worked... they finally spaced out enough that I ended up with about 3-4 hours of sleep.

So I had to go in to get checked today according to the midwife. When I got there I was in a definite contraction pattern that was noted on my chart... The nurse checked me...

Here is the results...




I am 1 (count it people) 1 cm dilated... disturbing considering the amount of pain I was in... the good news is that I am 50% effaced which means my cervix is halfway thinned out... Good thing considering a week ago I wasn't effaced at all..


So after a bawl fest in which I smeared all my makeup and made myself look like the the swamp thing I bucked up and decided not to concentrate on the one centimeter but on the 50% effacement and the fact that the nurse said I could very well be in pre labor that could take a few days to become active...

So anywho.... everyone root for Wednesday... it is my mom's birthday and she thinks Josiah should share it as well!

Pray for some shut eye for me as well... I could use it.

Someone please just shoot me....

Allright... I know what you guys are all thinking... Great... more boring reading about poor little old Bekah's contractions... Click... Think I will move on now...

But seriously now... I need someone to vent too!

I am trying soooo hard to stay positive right now... but with every day that goes by and I still don't have anything to show for all these stinkin' contractions I just want to... well I don't really know what I want to do...

Last night was horrible... everytime I woke up I was in the middle of a really bad contraction... so therefore I would have no control and couldn't relax... Then here is the worse part... This morning Pete and I were up at about 8. I started to get the contractions about 3-6 minutes apart... So painful that I would have to literally stop whatever I was doing and concentrate on relaxing and breathing. And if anyone tried to talk to me I wouldn't answer... The went on like this for about two hours... Getting worse with every one... I was SURE this was going to be the day... I even called my mom (wait... that is what made it stop!) Then at about 10... NOTHING...

Why??? I just don't understand why I have to go through this... it just isn't fair... everyone else I know that has babies... just has them... No big deal. Why can't I be this way?? I just sit and cry when I think about it... And what makes it so bad this time is that if he isn't born earlier than Emma then I will have gone through it much longer and be all the more tired at the end. Like I am down before I even start.

I starting to really believe that I am going to go all the way to my due date. I know I shouldn't complain as I am not really even close to my due date... Four weeks... but I just can't take much more of this... I am becoming sleep deprived... my attitude stinks... and I just don't want to be around anyone anymore...

They say that no two pregnancies or labors are alike... I can deal with that... But it is becoming very hard to not say.. hey... at this point with Emma I was almost done ( I didn't know it! but I was!) Because who is to say that he won't decided to show up 4 weeks from now?? On Monday I will be 36 weeks... And within a week and a few days of when Emma showed up... Do you think that the old wives tale that the second baby comes sooner is true?? Cause I am beginning to think NOT...


My only hope now is that those HORRIBLE contractions from this morning will grace us with their presence later on today and stay... wouldn't it be just convenient too with it being the weekend and all???

Guess I should update

I guess I forget that being pregnant and close to my due date will cause people to wonder if I don't blog on a regular basis!

Sorry everyone!

Well the contractions continue... Pete and I thought that it might be labor on Monday when I contracted most of the evening. They were painful, 6-8 minutes apart and 45-60 seconds long... Techinically the time that you would THINK you were in labor... But did they continue??? NOPE!

Then on Tuesday and Wednesday I had them on and off for most the day and night. But nothing to write home to mom about so... I just shrugged them off and figured that my lovely body (who hates being pregnant) is just playing tricks on me as usual....

But then last night it started again... In the middle of the night... Ugh... Why is it always in the middle of the night. And to top it off this time, I can't stop peeing... What is that?? Like every ten to fifteen minutes I am in the bathroom... Also this immense pressure on my pelvis... I am beginning to wonder if I have a bladder infection. Hm...

It will do me no good to sit here and analyze everything and wonder if I will ever go into REAL labor... So here I sit. Looking at my daily blog rounds. Checking email... and waiting for Christmas... seriously believeing this little monkey isn't going to grace mommy and daddy with a tax deduction for 2005....

Oh... and soon... I hope... I have some pics of Emma that I need to share. They are from our trip to the tree farm this past Saturday and then helping decorate the tree... Very cute!

Everyone thing labor thoughts please!

I made it!!

Today the midwife gave the green light so to speak!! She said I am officially 35 weeks and can have my baby anytime now with her blessing! And I won't have to go to the big city hospital.... The countdown is on... Emma was born at 37 weeks...

I am trying to stay optimistc... but why do I have a bad feeling he will be born late???

Oh... I was also thinking how nice it would be to go into labor tonight with Pete home and Emma at my parents.... Life could only be so good!

When it rains it pours!

Saturday night I got up around 3 in the morning to... you guessed it... go to the bathroom!! When I got back to bed I asked Pete to go out to the living room to get my migraine medicine. When he stepped on the floor he screeched and said... Ewww I think that dog peed on the carpet...

I was like... um... okay... so he got down with a towel and that is when he realized that the carpet was wet a huge area. The whole walk way by the door, under the bed and in the closet. So we proceeded to try and figure out what could have gone wrong! First we though the frig... it is on the other side of the bedroom wall. But nope it wasn't that! Then we thought maybe the pipe had come undone from the washer in the hall by the bedroom... Nope not that either... Then it dawned on Pete... The hot water heater is in our closet. So he said a few choice words and went flying out the backdoor ( the shutoff valve for our water is out there) only to find water POURING out from under the house. He shut off the water and we thought.... great!!...

It turns out that pressure was somehow building up in the pipes that connect to the outgoing water and the water heater. The fitting had blown and we had no idea how long it had been like that!

Pete fixed it Sunday and for 8 hours it held. We had just gotten into bed and were almost asleep when we heard a boom and tons of rushing water... It blew again!! Another night of no sleep!! ( for Pete anyhow. He worried while I slept a little)

This morning Pete went to the park maintenance man who came in and fixed it free of charge for us. He used a different fitting and so far so good! But Pete stayed home anyways to make sure it wouldn't blow while I was alone.

The good part in all this is that Emma spent the night with my parents and Pete and I were able to spend the evening together alone which was nice since tomorrow is our anniversary!!!

So the pouring of the rain comes in because we also have to have the brakes and rotors repaired in the van before we can have it inspected by the end of the month... Good thing that Pete is a mechanic!!!

Changes!

So I was getting really bored with that gray color on my last template... Kinda depressing... So I switched to this one... Don't know if it is any better though.

Oh and I also decided I needed to add a ticker to help remind me that IT is almost over!!

We made a little trip to the hospital this morning... again. This time I was feeling lots of yuck and wet down there and TONS of pressure with every contraction that I have.

So when I got there they checked to see if I was leaking fluid.... NOPE! And she didn't seem all that concerned about the pressure since my cervix was still closed. But! She said that it could definitely be the cause of the horrendous hemorrhoids that have moved in down south which may I add are totally uncomfortable, painful and torturous?... At any rate... The baby's heartrate was kinda fast so they wanted me to stay and be watched for a little while. They tanked me up with some fluids and watched my contractions and then deemed me able to go home.

I only have one complaint.... The nurse asked me what I was having... I said a boy. So she says awww... the million dollar family!... I answer, Yup I am done, it is apparent to me my body doesn't like to be pregnant!

Here it is... sit down... the rudeness is about to come... Ready??

She answers "Well, a little more time between babies would probably have done the trick!"

WHAT????? How rude is that?? Is it any of her business how close my children are?? Besides all that, Emma was 11 months old when I got pregnant... she should concentrate that statement on women who find themselves with child again before their six week checkup (not that that is a problem in my eyes either!)... Someone should tell that lady to SHUT UP! And besides all that if it had anything to do with the spacing of the kids then I wouldn't have had this same exact problem with Emma.

Okay I am done ranting about it.

Thanksgiving was very nice! We played games and food and watched the snow come down outside! Here is the only problem as far as I could see... Being pregnant during the holidays stinks! You can't fit as much pie in there as your little heart desires!!

Cloth Diapers, Ebay, and Thanksgiving....

I have been cloth diapering Emma for a week now. It is actually going great! We still use disposables at night because lazy me hasn't finished her wool soaker!! We also used disposables on Sunday because the little skirt she wore would have never fit over a cloth diaper. As for tomorrow I am pretty sure I am going to cart all the cloth diapering paraphanelia over to grandma's. We will give it a whirl somewhere besides home.

So Jamie encouraged me to go on eBay the other day to check out cloth diapers and such... Can I just say... FUN!!! I got a really good deal on 4 AIO's (all in one, no diaper cover needed) and a small wool cover with a monkey on the butt for Josiah! The best part about the AIO's is they are supposed to be one size fits all... so they fit birth to potty. If I like them on Emma, then I plan to buy a bunch more and the two kids can share them. They would be VERY convenient for going out, going to church, and for daddy to changer dipes!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the good ole US... Pete, the baby(for not much longer!) and I will be going to my grandma's for dinner. We are excited about spending time with family. On this past Monday my mom and I spent all day cooking for Thanksgiving. We made an apple pie, pecan pie, cherry pie, and pumpkin pie. Also some homemade french bread and sugar cookies. Then today I stuck some miniature cheesecakes in the oven so that we could have those to snack on as well.

It promises to be a fun day... Grandpa has to work till 3.... bummer! But someone has to run the Y on the holidays too I guess. But he has informed us he plans on being sociable and playing a game this year.... his words! So we are packing a bunch of those into the car as well tomorrow morning.

Speaking of morning... the commute should be right nice due to the fact they are expecting four inches of snow by morning... Lovely!

Hey at least Emma will get to wear her new boots!!

Oh yeah almost forgot.... news on the baby front.... Same old same old... contractions most the night but I was able to get some sleep... I have been feeling some flu like symptoms the past two days.. nausea and diarrhea.... hope it is nothing!

Woohoo!!!!!

I made it one more week!!! Today I am officially 34 weeks. Only one more week left to go till we are in the safe zone for prematurity!!!

I am still getting contractions. Some days are better than others. Night time is usually pretty bad for me. Just like it was with Emma.

For the most part they are just tightenings during the day. But at night... well that is when they get bad. Last night I was up for two hours with them. I would just doze off between them and I would get another worse than the last that would wake me right up. I just breath through them and it seems to get me through.

Today I was talking to Pete and I said "Hey! Since all these contractions started two weeks earlier than they did with Emma, if they follow the same pattern then there is a good possibility that we could have a baby by the end of NEXT week!" (Don't worry... my hopes are no where near up!)

He looked at me, shook his head and said... "Boy that makes it finally sink in, doesn't it?"

Uh... dear?? Just to let you know... We are having a baby.

Letting Everyone Know

The contractions have subsided enough for me to NOT worry about them... Still there but not painful...

We are still betting on an early December baby instead of late December early January... Anyone else want to venture a guess???

Dec 12 will put me at the mark where I was when I went into labor with Emma... but since the nonsense started up two weeks earlier with Josiah we are wondering if he won't just make his debut two weeks earlier than Emma did... BUT! No one knows that but God... and Josiah!

Just you wait and see I'll still be luggin' this belly around on New Year's!

I knew it!!!

I don't usually blog about the news... But this I couldn't pass up...

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Health/story?id=1317690

I knew that I was right! Tonight on the news I heard Dr. Ferber himself say that his method of putting a child to sleep is not always the right way...

So when the nurse at our pediatrician's told me to go home over the weekend and let her cry it out till she fell asleep, and I thought HOW BARBARIC! I was RIGHT!

Oh and this is good....

"Actually, there is no change, I think that's a misconception," said Ferber, the director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at the Children's Hospital in Boston. "Our approach has always been one of compassion."

Yeah... whatever... Compassion... Riiiight... So we let our kids scream till they are scared crapless thinking that we are never going to come and get them if they need us!!! I am sorry.... But I find it very hard to believe that a child under the age of one has this going through their mind... "Hmm... if I cry just a bit longer I KNOW she will come get me... hehehhe.... Just like I planned...."

Okay I am done now.