It'll be over soon

I had an appointment today with my midwife. I told her that, emotionally, I just couldn't handle all the contractions anymore. I always think that I am in labor and then hours later when it hasn't progressed then I get so down because this wasn't it again!

For the past week and a half I have been having family come and sit with me during the day because I was so despondant after the failed labor experience that they were all very worried about me. It was hard for me to admit that I needed the help and the company.

Anyways... back to the original topic. After explaining all that to her I told her I just didn't think I could keep going on with all the contractions and always wondering if I was in labor or not... It is never definite for me, never has been! Not to mention it is painful and becomes very draining and tiring over a course of days.

So the final decision was to induce me. This is not exactly my ideal thing to do. I don't like the idea of inducing labor or "forcing" the baby out and I know tons of people are against induction! But I am to the point that I am going crazy! Literally.

The original plan was to induce me tonight. But there were not any rooms available except for the one they try to keep open when it is really busy. Then the midwife just called and said it definitely won't be tonight because they just filled that room and are going to have to start using the overflow rooms! So tomorrow will be another day and we will see if there is an open room tomorrow and go from there. The hope is that they will be able to induce me just by putting some hormones next to my cervix because I am contracting but my cervix is weird and is anywhere from 2-5 cm depending on if I am being checked during a contraction... Then they wouldn't have to use pitocin... which is what I am hoping and praying for.

There is still a chance I won't be able to go in tomorrow either! In which case I think I would have to wait till next Monday to try again... If I have to I will make it to then. Because now I can see a definite planned end to everything. I hope to be able to share wonderful news about Abby by the weekend!

There is always the off chance that I happen to go into labor tonight or tomorrow! Wouldn't that just be funny!