Josiah: Two Months

And what a wild roller coaster ride it has been!

Within a week after your one month checkup you developed a cold. A cold that undoubtedly came from your loving family. I tried not to worry but worry I did and I rushed you into the doctor's on a thursday... the day after you got sick. They told me not to worry it was probably just a cold. Two days later I took you to the ER because you looked like you were having a hard time breathing. Same diagnosis there. Just a cold...

Somewhere deep in my heart I knew something was wrong. But I took you home anyways and just watched you all the more closely. The next day you situation got worse and I took you back to the same ER. This time they finally admitted you. By now you had developed RSV, bronchiolitis and were severely dehydrated.

It was horrible to watch them work on you that night. They would suction you with a long suction catheter stuck into your nose and pushed down past your throat. You would cry hysterically and turn all sorts of colors. I finally got to the point where I had to leave the room. I felt so sick watching my poor baby suffer. I went out into the hallway crying. A nurse (I wish I knew her name!) came and put her arm around me. After I blubbered to her about being a horrible mother for not being able to handle the stress she gently told me to not be so hard on myself... it is hard to see such a small baby suffer.

Well what was supposed to be a short 1 or 2 night stay ended up being 6 nights. Boy were we glad to get you home! By the time you came home you were 7 weeks old... the month had almost passed already!!

That next week went by fast. You were much better and your feeding situation was better as well. But last week you came down with thrush... and another cold... it just isn't fair! You have been through so much in your small life... I can't wait until you are better... spring is here and you become the happy baby I know you really are!

If nothing else this past month has taught me to how to truly lean on God! And this month also brought us your first smile! Now you smile so much... especially when mommy and daddy talk to you. But right now your favorite thing is when your little sis talks to you and points out the parts of your face. You give her a smile that could light up the night sky!

We love you so much Josiah and you are becoming a bigger part of our life more and more each day... Can't wait to see what this next month brings us!!

I think I'm in heaven

Josiah just recently started to bump bedtime back up to a normal hour... For about three weeks I couldn't get him to sleep before midnight! This week we have slowly migrated back to a decent hour. Somewhere between 8 and 10... and then I don't hear from him till somewhere between 2-4 depending on when he finally went to sleep...

Four to five hours of sleep for me... Heaven, I tell ya!

Tax Return: Here I come!

There is nothing I love more in the world then spending my hubby's hard earned money... With his input and permission of course!

So that being said, as soon as we found out how much money we were getting back this year we started making plans for it (after we picked our jaws up off of the floor!)

First and foremost we are about to become debtless people! (Aside from money owed to parents... but who counts that since it doesn't show on credit reports?) We are well on our way to fixing our credit so we will be approved for a bigger house when the kids hit puberty. We are very excited to get rid of the rest of our debt... We hope to stay that way... The only thing left now is regular living expenses.

The second thing we planned for was money set aside for a trip out to Indiana to visit Pete's parents. We saw them last spring but haven't seen his sisters and brother since 2004. So gas will cost us big time... better set aside the money while we have it!

Third and lastly... since we felt we were responsible with the first two thirds we decided to splurge with the rest...

Here is what we are getting.. in no particular order...

A stainless steel refrigerator

A stainless steel stove

Dvd player for the van ( Don't have link yet because we haven't decided which one... we wanted to get one that installed on the roof of the van but due to the crazy console we have up there we can't do it! So we may be stuck with the ones that hang on the backs of the front seats)

I am also hoping to convince Pete to let me get some things for my newest hobby... Diaper sewing... It's so much fun!

Like this, or this, or maybe even some of this!

Can't wait for that check to come in!

Happy Valentine's Day

Check it out! It's here in town for the first time.

Pete gave me an early gift for Valentine's Day. Two tickets for a date out of the 25th of Feburary.

We are going to go out for lunch to a restaurant we haven't tried yet, then go to the show. I am so excited because I have always wanted to see it. He sold something of his to get the money to take me. How sweet is that?? It will be the first outing we have had since before the baby was born. Ah... an afternoon without babies... I can't wait!

He told me about it today while I was having a rough day with the babies. He really comes through when I need it the most! I really love my hubby...

A smile

I know its dark but the flash scares the smile away!!

And who would ever think such a cute face could have a mouth with the death grip of a pirahna??

He did it!!!

Josiah is finally smiling!!!!

And now he won't go to sleep because he wants to play and use his new found talent!

I have graduated!

I am sitting here as we speak... er uh read... Nursing Josiah... and typing with both hands at the same time!! See?? I graduated!!

I am so excited that today went better. The pain is still there. Not as bad. Just kinda there. Today he also started to nurse without the supplementer and then when he is done I finish him up with the bottle. It is working much nicer because I was getting so frustrated with that dumb thing.

So I really believe that he is getting something or he wouldn't be staying on... if there was no milk he would pop off and start screaming... I am beginning to hope and believe that this is going to work and I will have a full milk supply.

Everyone keep thinking milky kinds of thoughts!

Where did the day go?

Pumping and breastfeeding is taking up all my time!

I now breastfeed the baby every two hours... and if he isn't ready after two hours I pump...

The lactation consultant told me today that they need to be stimulated every two hours for a couple weeks to build up supply.

Problem? I am using a supplemental system where Josiah gets formula through a tiny tube while nursing to help me build up my supply and to allow him to still get nourishment. The bottle only holds two ounces... Not enough for an 11 lb 7 oz baby. So when I give him the extra ounce in the bottle he isn't ready in two hours for another go around...

So needless to say my day seemed to have vanished into thin air... what with the nursing, pumping and reprimanding Emma all day (who, might I add, seems to know when I can't get her out of the trouble that she creates...)

Ah motherhood....

Moooo!!!

If you ever want to feel like a cow just do this...

1.) Cut a hole in each cup of your bra.

2.) Put the pump mechanism through these holes.

3.) Finish assembling pump parts.

4.) Put bra on with pump parts in all the right places.

5.) Turn on pump.

6.) Grit your teeth in pain.

7.) Sit for twenty minutes while watching milk fall into bottles.

Last but not least....

8.) Moo every once in awhile for good effects....


(If you are wondering... I am trying to relactate... Josiah is allergic to all the formulas... this is my last hope... Pray for success...)

We're Baaack!

Wow... what long week I had!!

Last Saturday night (Jan. 28) Josiah's cold got really bad and I started to notice that he was having a hard time breathing... So I brought him in to the ER. After about four hours there they told me he just had a cold and that I should just watch him and it would eventually go away...

So Sunday we got up and got ready for church... We went and Josiah was okay not himself but okay... By afternoon he had thrown up every feeding I gave him, was still having a hard time breathing and wasn't wetting his diapers much... So we made a second trip to the ER...

This time after closer examination, a few tests and listening to me recount the last 24 hours to at least five different residents, they finally decided to admit him. The head of pediatrics for that shift assured me it would probably be just an overnight observation...

Sometime in the middle of the night he started to have a harder time breathing and his oxygen levels went down so they gave him oxygen.. The would then pound on his chest..(something called Chest Percussion Therapy) and then deep suction him with a catheter that went in his nose and down into his chest...

At around 4 AM I broke down... I was by myself and could no longer stand watching them do all they had to do... So I called my mom and she came out to be with me...

So what turned out to be a supposedly short stay at the hospital turned out to be a six night stay! He would seem to get better but then have to be put back on oxygen and get more breathing treatments... Then on Thursday he started to throw up after every feeding...

So they put him back on the IV after he had already been taken off of it... Then on Friday they took it off again and then back on again and went into some investigation of the cause...

Eventually they came to the crazy conclusion that he has a milk protein intolerance. Now I knew already that he was having a problem because he is on Nutramagen... A hypoallerginic formula. But now they were saying it was bad enough to warrent another formula change. This one would cost us $128 a week!!!

Finally after changing his formula and watching him for another 24 hours we got to go home on Saturday afternoon... Now, I think he was getting sick after the feedings because he had so much mucus! But who am I??? Certainly not the doctors!

Today we went in for a checkup to make sure he was doing okay... I told his pediatrician about the formula change they made at the hospital but that Josiah didn't seem to like it and wouldn't take more than 2 ounces instead of his normal 4... Not to mention we were back to getting up every two hours... So the ped told me to go back to the Nutramagen since it had been working before he got sick and if he was having problems we would address the issue again...

So that was my week! It sure is good to be home.. I was getting sick of sleeping in that sorry excuse of a fold out bed! My flannel sheets felt so good the other night! And that cafeteria food was good the first few days then it got old! Yumm... finally I was able to get some homemade food!

I am just so glad that Josiah pulled through... and that Emma (who got sick last week as well) is better now.. Now maybe life will settle down into a nice routine and we can move on! Boy I can't wait till spring is here... supposedly six more weeks... We shall see!

Stickers, Potty and Bedtime

Emma is slowing learning more about the potty and when she has to go. She has a huge desire to use the potty and hates to have her diapers on. Usually after a bath and every time we get her dressed and change her diaper she says "Potty, potty, potty."

So far she has three stickers on her chart. One for a poo and two for the pees. She knows now that those stickers only get there by using the potty. So it is funny how she will sit on the potty forever even if she already went in her diaper. I think she is hoping some more will come so she can get a sticker.... very cute.

I would say a little bit longer and I will start her in the training pants. I am really proud of how she is catching on. We are still a long way off from being totally trained. But it is a start and a good one.

Tonight though was a different story. She was using the potty to postpone bedtime. Isn't it amazing how their minds work at this age?? I kept telling her to hurry so we could go to bed... She would get off the potty and I would say "Are you ready to go to bed?" To which she would answer with loud emphatic no's and proceed to race back to the potty and sit back down... I finally had to drag her away and tell her I already gave her a sticker for the drop she managed to squeeze out.

She's finally in bed now... Boy... almost two is a crazy age!

Oh! I finally started to use the cloth diapers I made for Josiah... It is going really well... And washing them out isn't so bad afterall... I think we will probably stick with the cloth...I like how the fleece that I used to line them with keeps his bum really dry! Drier then a disposable in fact!

Bring on the Rain

I am seriously thinking of changing my blog name... I like the current one... but I am looking for a more catchy phrase that might stick in people's heads better...

So whaddya think of this one??

Bring on the Rain
Cause around here when it rains, it stinkin' pours.


That is what I have come up with so far...

Anyways... on to other news...

Everyone in the house here is sick with a nasty cold... including the poor five week old baby. How fair is that?? Poor thing... He has a bad runny nose and a nasty cough... I have to let him sleep in the swing... It is so pitiful. Emma had croup last week and now she just has a nasty cough... Pete has a cold.. and I have a sore throat.

Pete and I are exhausted... we have been taking turns getting up with the baby at night... but between that and being sick, we are really getting kicked in the butt! I can only hope that we will all get better soon... and the next time we have some freakish 60 degree weather I will air out the house....

So... let me know what you think of the new title... maybe I will change it in a few days.

Signed: The Dawg

Dear Owners,

It has come to my attention that this new screaming addition to the family is here to stay. Once again ousting me out of my position in the family. In a matter of two years I have gone from Number One, to Number Two... and now finally... Number Three.

As this upsets me I have no other choice but to retaliate. In doing so you will be sure to find "accidents" more frequently, a few more chewed up tissues and of course the occasional half-eaten dirty diaper.

If you would like my outrages to stop then please, if you don't mind, grant me these few requests:

1.) I require a belly rub every day, for at least ten minutes.

2.) Regular trips outside would greatly reduce the number of "accidents".

3.) Please keep the new Number One from squealing in my ears (she hurts my ears!) and pulling on my legs.

4.) If at all possible, could you please keep the new Number Two a little quieter at night, he hurts my ears as well.

And last but certainly not least ( and definitely most important):

5.) Please... could youPLEASE stop forgetting to feed me???

Signed,

The Dawg


*****(No dogs were harmed in the writing of this post.)*****

He who hears baby first: Gets baby first!

Have you ever played this game with your spouse???

You know the one that I am talking about.... It's 2am in the morning.. you have only just gone back to sleep from the last time the baby got up and you hear that unmistakable whimper... again!

So what do you do?? You play the game... Who is going to "hear" the baby first.... Now I will be the first to admit that I have played this game a time a two... but usually only after I have been up two or three times and can't stand the thought of being up for over an hour again!

Anyways... you lay there and wait to see if your Significant Other is going to get up...actually you hope with your entire being that he/she is going to get up... cause come on now.. it's their turn!
You lay there a little longer listening to their breathing... analyzing it to see just how real those deep breathes and snores really are... you peek out with one eye to see if your SO is doing the same... Then after some time has gone by and the poor baby has probably decided that you aren't coming you throw the blankets off and stomp off into the other room... You slam the can of formula down on the counter, make as much noise mixing the bottle as possible and sigh as many times as your lung capacity will allow... all in hopes that these noises will rouse your SO out of his/her "peaceful" slumber... Then you just resign yourself to the fact that your the one that lost this go around... This is the losing side.

The winning side goes a little something like this... You hear the baby scream... again... It startles you and you jump...then you think "Aw crap! I hope he/she didn't notice that I woke up!" So you settle back down into the blankets sigh a cute little sleeping sigh and resume deep breathing/snoring... hopeing against hope that it sounds believable!! You listen to your partner do the same wondering how long he/she will hold out and hope that you win this time... Finally your partner decides that you aren't going to get up and you feel them get out of bed... you open one eye and peek out to make sure when it is safe to let out your breath and relax... Just when you finally relax back into the blankets and close your eyes a crash comes from the other room... a series of sighs..and some banging around... You startle, look around... and realize that your partner has caught onto your ploy and is making his/her anger known... You think... oh well and turn over and try to get some more shut eye.... And plan what you will say when he/she comes back to bed... Usually the old stand by will work... "oh honey... I never heard him crying.. boy! I must be tired..."

Which side do you play?? And is either side really the winner?? The loser may actually be the winner because you get to see that first smile in the middle of the night and hold the baby's hand... and the Winner??? Well are you really the winner if you can't get back to sleep from all that banging??

Josiah Christian: 1 month

Josiah! What a month we have had!!! It has gone by so fast and I can't believe that today is your one month birthday... It seems like just yesterday I was wondering if you were ever going to come!

You came on a Monday and two days later we were home. That first night you showed signs of a sensitivity to your formula. So we struggled along for about two and a half weeks before we called the doctor. He put you on soy and for about four to five days you were much better. We actually got some sleep!

Then you started to get worse again... no one was sleeping and you cried so much... Mommy was hurting just knowing that you were so uncomfortable.



So this past Tuesday we went in for your one month checkup. We found out that you are 10lbs 120z and 22 inches long... Growing so fast!

Mommy talked to Dr. B. and told him about your problems eating and how miserable you had become. So he suggested that we put you on the hypoallerginic formula... Expensive.... But so worth it!! You are so much happier now and you sleep so much better. It is definitely a trade-off to see you better.


You still sleep so much... But I think you may have finally gotten your days and nights somewhat in sync... In fact last night you went for a four hour stretch twice!! Mommy and daddy got two stretches of three hours of sleep... It was nice... Before you know it, it will be five hours.. then six... seven... then maybe all night...
Well... maybe not.. But it is a start!!

You still don't smile... I wish you did... I get those cute little smiles in your sleep... The ones where you are probably passing gas... or maybe peeing.. Who knows... But I sure can't wait till you dazzle us with a big gummy smile!!

Something I have learned since you have come to be with us is that the second time around is much easier... I am not so uptight about things... but then again I do get concerned sooner because I have some experience now! But things are definitely a little bit more laid back with you... Heck if your binky falls on the floor we examine it and then put it back where it was... and who cares if you don't get a bath every night... thank you to the man who invented baby wipes!!

I look back at the last month and I just can't believe how it has flown! Before I know it you are going to be one year old and eating birthday cake... But until then I am going to savor every moment that God gives me with you... For you, baby boy, are my last little one... and I want to cherish every little baby moment that I have with you... My only request is this: Please don't grow up to fast....

Why me!!??

Okay an update on what has happened lately...

Josiah steadily got worse during the last week with his feeding problems... The soy worked for a while and then not so much!! He would take the nipple for a few sucks and then spit it out and start to scream, bring his knees up and pass a lot of gas... After I finally got him to take a few ounces he would cry and scream for an hour after... We weren't getting any sleep because this mostly happened in the night!! So finally this past Tuesday we had his one month checkup...

He is now 10lb12oz and 22 inches long... I talked to the doctor about the formula and his problems... He told me that it sounds like Josiah has colic.... (great!) and that he wants us to change his formula... So once again we changed his formula... the problem is that it is the REALLY EXPENSIVE formula... It is literally twice the price... A can of normal formula is $11.99. The same size can of this special formula is $22.99. So we will roughly be paying about $80 a week in formula..

The good news??? We have been using the formula for a little over 24 hours and I saw a big improvement already!! Hopefully, here pretty soon, we will start to get some more sleep... So I guess it is just a trade-off we will have to deal with!

So the why me comes in right about here....

Emma has croup again... Argh!! Poor thing... My only hope is that it doesn't put us in the hospital again like it did in August last year... She sounds bad... but not near as bad as she did the last time... A little while ago I went to put the humidifier in her room and it didn't work... Again I ask... Why me?? So Pete is going to have to go after work and pick one up... I hope she doesn't get too bad before he gets home... Luckily I got her an appointment earlier this evening and was able to get a steroid prescription filled for her so I gave that to her before I put her to bed... I am hoping it wards it off before it even starts!!

I am back!

Just a quick hey to let everyone know that I am still alive! We had to have our computer fixed and so I was without it for five days!

I will get write later when I have more time!

Anybody out there???

Hey! It is National De-Lurking Week.

So since I am curious if I have any regular readers... please!!! Leave a comment...

Now I know what your thinking... "Nah... I don't want to, because she has that annoying security thing on... and I don't want to open an account just to leave a comment... "

Well I am sorry!! I had to do it... so I would stop getting spam comments...

So please... please!!! Throw me a bone and leave a comment! Tell me who you are and how often you stop in! And hey while your at it... leave your website and maybe I'll do the same for you!

PS... I was going to post a cute button that said "Don't be a Lurk-ness Monster... Leave a comment..." But unfortunately blogger won't let me upload any pics today... go figure...

Technology Stinks!

Ever since we got this crazy highspeed, cable internet, our computer has been wacking out!!

Our email sometimes doesn't work. The internet doesn't always load up... things freeze... and as we speak I am about ten words past where my curser decided to stop moving... then it finally catches up and Voila! A whole sentence magically appears on the screen!

I have so many piuctures of Josiah that I would like to post but since my computer is screwy that ain't happening!!

Anyways... like I said... Technology stinks..

Boy I have been busy the past couple days... I finally feel good! It took a good three weeks but I am starting to feel like myself again... aside from the mind numbing exhaustion from being woken three times a night... but I feel half normal again!

In the past two days I have managed to clean the whole house... and keep it clean I might add... I finished all the laundry!! I changed the sheets on the bed... and I baked bread today... you know the old fashioned way, with yeast and the raising and what not!

Tomorrow I have plans to tackle the bathrooms... They aren't that bad... but I figured now that I can bend over I can scrub the showers!

I also was able to get Emma to bed on time! And give both of them a bath today! I feel like I did good!! I would have made some good dinner tonight... but I decided we would eat what was left over from last night... Tomorrow I am planning on making some soup and biscuits...

Josiah is doing MUCH better now... So if we can get him to have his four hour stretches of sleep at night instead of day time life would be great!!!

Well I am off to finish putting laundry away... Something that's easier to do when Emma is sleeping... that way I don't have to keep making sure that she isn't mutilating Josiah!!

A word to the wise... or not so wise...

I stayed awake last night debating whether or not I should do this... Only because it may cause strife! But I decided finally that yes... I am going to write this no matter what because it is time that I stood up for myself... I am a grown adult now... a mother and a wife... I have the right to explain myself to whoever will listen...

It came to my attention last night that some of my single readers who don't have children think they have all the answers concerning child rearing... and even concerning marriage itself... Let me just say that unless you, yourself are in a specific situation you don't know how you will react, what you will say or even do...

I used to look at people before I had kids and criticize how they took care of them, how they disciplined or even just their family life in general... but it wasn't until I was actually in a family of my own that I realized just how hard it can be at times... Life it isn't easy... and I would say that parenthood is high on the list of difficulties.

To say that someone should be able to take care of two screaming children at the same time (I mean they are literally both screaming at the same time!) is absurd... Especially when you yourself don't have any children of your own and don't know what it is like to care for them.... and especially if one of those said children are running high fevers... and the other child thinks that he is starving!! Having two kids is a whole other ballgame!! Child care is a full time job for anyone... ask any mother that and they will tell you the same thing... so adding a second child to that makes a big difference.

Add to the top of that, a recovery from childbirth which contrary to popular belief takes more than a few weeks the second time around. I found that with Emma I bounced back so quickly that people were amazed that I had just had a baby! I was up with her three and four times a night... and I was rarely ever tired... but people... listen to me! She was my only child... if I was tired during the day I would just sleep when she slept!! With Josiah I haven't exactly bounced back so quickly... and he is also my "difficult" baby... he never sleeps and he has had many problems with eating... I bled longer this time... and each time that I got up to try and do some house work the bleeding would get really bad... I finally called the midwife and she told me that not only was I bleeding more because it was a second baby... but also because he was a LARGE baby... she told me I HAD to take it easy if I wanted it to stop...

Anyways... I said all that to say this... I have found... and so has my husband... that the best thing that keeps families going is teamwork... if that means that dad has to take a night time feeding then so be it... or maybe he has to cook a meal... no problem he can do that too... Because in the grand scheme of things in a couple more weeks I am going to be back to my old self... Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry... baking bread... make jellies... cookies... Knitting... crocheting...

So what some of these readers lack in knowledge was how I was before I got pregnant with Josiah and that I have every full intention of being that wife and mother again when my life slows down a little! And when I am finally that person again my hubby will be rewarded for the help he gave me because he too knew that it was only temporary!

Soy! It does a body good!

After almost three weeks of crying, gas, diarrhea, vomitting and no sleep, the doctor finally told me I could try Josiah on Soy formula.

Last night was the second night that he had the soy. Instead of waking every two hours to eat (which was only allowing me an hour of sleep at a time) he woke every three hours... He now takes three to four ounces (which he was supposed to have been doing two weeks ago!) He hasn't had diarrhea since we started it either... and the only time he throws up now is when he refuses to burp!

So someone ask me what soy equals???

I'll tell you ..... Soy=Sleep!

She did it!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in a few! Been kinda busy!! I didn't even get to post for the new year... Oh well...

Anyways!!!! Emma went pee pee in the potty tonight!

Yesterday when she got up she kept grabbing her diaper and saying "Poo, poo." There was poop in there so I changed her.

Tonight I was putting her to bed and she kept saying that again and grabbing her diaper... I called my mom to see what I should do... cause there wasn't any poo in there! Mom told me to put her on the potty.

I did and she sat there for a little bit... when she got up there were little three little drops in there so I said " Yeah! Emma went pee pee in the potty!!" She clapped her hands then sat back down... so I left her there because Josiah was screaming.... after I took care of him for a minute she came waltzing out of the bathroom with her pants at her ankles... I went in to check the potty and she had peed in it!! A lot!! So we had a little party... dumped it down the toilet and said bye bye to it. She was excited... But I was sad cause I had missed it!

Well I was kinda hoping this was going to wait till spring when I wasn't so frazzled but I can't ignore the signs... so here we go... embarking on the potty training... hopefully it won't be too hard... Guess we need to go to Walmart and pick out some big girl undies! Maybe we can do that tomorrow... and I want to get some stickers and a poster board so she can have a reward system going... I am praying I can do this!

I'm in love with Dr. Brown!!!

Someone recommended Dr. Brown's bottles to me a couple of days ago due to Josiah's refusal to eat and the excessive gas.

Can I just say that the aforementioned Dr. Brown deserves a medal??? Josiah now takes three ounces at every feeding... Sleeps longer... Doesn't throw up and burps less!!! I am sooo happy that he is better!

The downfall?? The price!! Today while at Babies R' Us I was examining all the bottles... I decided on the skinny 4 ounce bottles... The price for ONE bottle was $4.99... Or I could get three for $12.99... I chose the set of three PRAYING that Josiah would actually like the bottle...

He did! And so tomorrow I plan on going back to the store and getting three more bottles... But I think that I will end up getting the 8 oz bottles because I don't want to invest in tons of 4 ozers only to have to back out and buy the bigger ones later on...

Thanks Dr. Brown!

Emma has taken to Josiah so well... Not a bit of jealousy... we are so thankful for that. She is constantly wanting to help... She will try to put his binky in his mouth when he is crying... She throws away dirty diapers for me... And she wants to help with everything else as well!

But tonight when I was in the kitchen cleaning out some bottles I hear this:

"Whhheeee!!"

I look in the living room and she is pushing the baby swing as far as it would go in both directions and poor Josiah was slumped all the way forward his little head bobbing...
I went CRAZY! I went in and told her NOOOOO you can hurt the baby that way... Of course she got very upset and proceeded to cry after I swatted her... (Yes... we spank our children... get over it!) But needless to say she hasn't done it again... Except later in the evening I caught her with a little makeup applicator for eyeshadow and she was trying to put that on Josiah as well...

Life will be interesting when they are finally able to play with each other!

Ah another cute thing.... She goes around and says in a sing songy voice...

" 'siah... 'siah... 'siah..."

That is what she calls him... Too cute!

Had to share this one!

How absolutely cute is my baby!??

Throw me a PARTY!!!!

Yeehaw!!

I just had to tell everyone that I fit into my prepregnancy jeans today! And I don't even mind telling everyone... they are a size 10!! I am sooo happy... It really bolstered my spirits to be able to do that! Not to mention. According to my scale I am back to prepregnancy weight... although I think it is a few pounds off according to the doctor's scale... So any weight that I lose now is BONUS!

Anyways.. enough boasting.

Josiah went in for his weight check today. He had gained 5 oz since last Friday. The doctor said that is completely acceptable. And being that he is my old boss he then proceeded to tell me to relax and stop being so uptight. He said to let Josiah eat when he wants and however much he wants. Stop looking at the marks on the bottles and stop worrying. So I guess that is what I am going to try to do.

Although I am thinking about trying out a different bottle to see if it helps any. I have been reading reviews on it tonight. They are pretty pricey. But compared to the Ventairs that we bought they are about the same. Maybe they will help with the gas and stuff... We shall see. Some of the reviews said it even allowed the babies to take more in one setting due to the reduction of air in their stomachs... Since I am currently using $1 dollar bottles maybe that is our problem! Too much air getting in there and so he isn't taking as much... I am desperate and will try pretty much anything. Although I am sure that Pete will grumble about the price I will remind him it is for a good cause! His son!!

1 down 6570 to go....

Days until Josiah turns 18.

I made it through my first night alone without Pete... With two kids to take care of!!

I am sooo glad it turned out well... I know it could have been worse... I also know that I will have worse days!! But Josiah was so good and Emma wasn't too, too bad... So it turned out better than I thought it was going to.

I had these horrible fears that I wouldn't be able to handle it... and that I wouldn't feel recovered enough to do it on my own... But I did... I took care of both of them... They both got fed and changed and loved on... I also folded some laundry, cleaned up the living room that was littered with toys and straightened up the kitchen a little...

I only hope that it goes this good for the rest of the week... Only because mommy seems to be coming down with a cold... the same one that wreaked havoc on the household the week before Josiah was born...

Pray that I don't get it as bad as Pete did!

The baby's rash is MUCH better... I think two days without all that excessive pooping really did the trick... I also have been vigilent about putting on the vaseline so I think that helped as well!
Also he is a bit of a tricky eater! He doesn't want to eat... So today I called the ped... I am going to be taking him in on Thursday for a weight check... He has done a bit better tonight... He took three ounces at 4:30... Better than his normal two ounces...

That is all I have time for tonight... Josiah is calling and thinks he is starving to death!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Something I learned this Christmas.... Bright red outfits against a dark background mixed with a flash don't always turn out so good! Mix in a toddler and a not so happy baby... sometimes disaster!

Oh well!! I thought everyone would enjoy a picture of the kids for Christmas anyways...

And this is what poor Josiah got for his first Christmas present... A bath!!

Hope everyone had a great Christmas... and had a wonderful time with family and friends!

*Update on the baby*

I keep forgetting to tell everyone... But Josiah ended up with a broken right clavicle from being stuck in the birth canal... It should heal and be better by his one month checkup... Nothing to worry about really... Although now... he has a lovely rash on his poor little bottom. It has become so red and raw that it is open and oozing... It's all the stinking pooping he does! One before and after every feeding... Poor little guy... We shall call the doc tomorrow for some advice... I have tried everything I know to take care of it and it just isn't working.

Josiah's Birth

On Sunday we ended up going back to the hospital at around 7ish... I was contracting every five minutes and the pain in my back was horrible... I thought that for sure this was finally it. So we trucked it back to the hospital.. this time with pillows and bags in hand.

When I got there I was not any more dilated... Disappointing... but they saw my contracting uterus on the monitor and decided it was worth a stay overnight... Pete and I walked the hallways for a little while and then got in the tub for a bit... At somewhere around ten or so they decided to give me some Nubain so I could get some sleep... Bad idea! The only thing that that accomplished was getting me into some kind of drunken state where I dreamed that I could fit two big marshmallows in a spice container... I heard our dog barking in the hospital and I asked Pete if he saw the fire too??

By Monday morning the contractions had spaced out so far that they decided I would probably go home... My midwife came in and gave me two options.... Strip my membranes and send me home... or don't strip my membranes and send me home... I figured well... stripping them didn't work with Emma... Oh well... So I said well go ahead and strip them and I will go home... After she did that painful act she proceeded to tell us that we could try other things to stimulate labor... A spicy meal.... Castor Oil.... Nipple Stimulation... Or Sex... I looked at her funny... Sex???
Yeah right!!

So we went on our way... stopped at the CVS for some Castor Oil and then went home to nap... Before hand we decided to try on of those "natural" inductions *wink*... After an hour nap I woke with the strongest contractions I had had yet... I was writhing in the bed... This was at about 11am... So after this went on for about two hours... I had tried a shower... eating... and walking around... nothing made them go away... my distraught husband (can't stand to see me in pain...) asked me to call...

We finally got to the hospital at about 2 or 3 that afternoon and the midwife checked me... She said Wow!! When you left this morning you were 2 cm... Now you are 3-4! And about two hours after that the nurse checked me again and I was 5 cm!! I was so excited now... I thought I am going to do this tonight!! But there was still this niggling thought in my brain that it would all stop and I would have to go home again...

At some point after finding out I was 5cm the nurse offered me the options of pain meds... I could have an injection (all of which make me act like a stark raving mad lunatic) or I could have an epidural... I just looked at her and said... but I am comfortable right now! I am dealing with each contraction as it comes and doing well! In fact I had been a high source of entertainment for the nurses thus far with my humor between the contractions...

As the night wore on it got closer to 9pm and my contractions had spaced out to about 10 minutes apart unless I stayed up and moving... So then the midwife came in and broke my water... Wow!! That sped things up like you wouldn't believe... After waiting about ten minutes the contractions came on quick and hard... I continued to manage well with the contractions... I used various positions... All fours.. standing leaning over the bed... The toilet... and leaning over the head of the bed with it all the way up in a 90 degree angle... The pain that I felt the most was at a point right about the center of my pubic bone... The pain was HORRIBLE... That was where I felt everything and it was very intense...

I am not sure of the time but probably close to 11:30 or so I started to go into transition... May I just say that is hell on earth with no meds??? I had waited too long... It appeared I had missed my window of opportunity for meds... I had managed so well so long that when I really needed the pain relief it was too late to get it... I struggled along... Screaming for meds... desperately trying to keep my bottom and legs relaxed and trying to find the strength to get through each contraction...

At around 11:45pm the midwife told me I had a small anterior lip on my cervix and that I could try to push around it... I tried a few times but it was half hearted and the pain continued to intensify at my pubic bone... at around 11:47 (or so I am told) I finally hit 10 cm and the midwife told me that the baby would be out in 1-3 contractions... I said good I can't take this much longer!! But the funny thing is that for that first contraction I refused to push cause I was too darn tired!! So for those last two contractions the urge to push totally overwhelmed me and I could not hold back... Strange moaning sounds emitted forth from my mouth and pushed like I had never pushed before... Strangely I never really felt that intense rectal pressure but the pubic pain worsened and I got the "ring of fire" that actually only lasted seconds...

A couple pushes later and his head was out... I could feel the relief and was waiting for that squishy feeling that you feel when the rest of the body comes out... But I didn't feel it... The midwife looked at me and said Bekah NOW would be a good time for a BIG push... I did so and nothing... Then she looked at the nurse and told her to call the other nurse and to push above my pubic bone... At this point... due to my experience as a nurse in labor and delivery I knew that the baby had shoulder dystocia... a condition where the second shoulder gets stuck above the pubic bone... after some weird manuevers with my legs and what Pete describes as "almost breaking the baby in half" he finally gave way... I still didn't know he was out though till a nurse said Bekah open your eyes you have a baby!! All this happened in a matter of 4 minutes... I pushed for about 4 minutes!!! Such a nice break after the two and half hours with Emma!

I looked down and saw him.. He was beautiful... I kept asking if he was a boy... They said yes... I noticed he wasn't really breathing but he eventually did... The midwife and nurses commented on how big he looked... But since I am used to a toddler he looked little to me!!

A few minutes later after Pete cut the cord and the baby had laid with me a little bit they took him to get weighed... They kept saying how big he looked and how he looked like a football player.... When they weighed him the nurse laughed and said Whoa!! He is 9lbs 12oz!! I was SHOCKED to say the least.. How could little ole me create an almost 10lb baby!!!

So his face was bruised a little but other then that he faired his difficult delivery well... Mom is fairing pretty well... A little sore and bruised herself but good none the less!!

I am very satisified with the way the delivery went... I loved the nurse I had at the time of delivery... She was awesome!!! She stayed in the room from the time they broke my water till the baby was born... She suggested all kinds of positions and really kept encouraging me and reminding me that it was almost over!! I loved her to death...and she is going to get a thank you card from us for sure!

I also wanted to add that even though we had that scare with the cyst in his brain Josiah came out perfectly healthy and formed... I thank God for that.

Also one other note about his name...

We chose the name Josiah before we ever found out if he was a boy or that there was a possible problem... Since then we found out that one of the meanings of Josiah is "Jehovah Heals" How true is it that his name fits the surroundings of his making and birth... We love Josiah and are very glad that God blessed us with his presence.

He's finally here!!!!

He is finally here!!! I thought it would never happen... But finally it did! After three trips to the hospital in two days we finally got to stay the last time and the end product was our baby!!

A couple of pics of our son!

Josiah Christian was born Monday December 19th at 11:51 pm... He was 9lbs 12 oz and 21.5 in long... I did natural with no meds... (Don't know what possessed me to do that!) and I didn't tear... a small miracle if you ask me...

So now I think I will go take care of the little one.. And since my rear end is killing me sitting in this chair I will come back later and write out all the gory details...

If you want to see a cute pick of Josiah with his sister go to www.setonhealth.org and click on New Arrivals... Go to Dec 19th and look under Josiah Christian...

More later!

Just thought I would update everyone...

I started to contract at 2:30am Sunday morning... They were about 15-20 minutes apart... I was able to get a little sleep for the next couple hours... But after a while they woke me again and steadily progressed to 5 minutes apart... At this point the pain in my back was unbearable so I called the midwife... She had me come in...

Once I got there the contractions had spaced out to 7 minutes apart but they checked me anyways... I was 2-3 cm dilated and 60-70% effaced... Progress!! So they suggested the jacuzzi... I was in there for a total of two hours... after which the nurse checked me again... No more dilation but up to as much as 80% effaced.... I got really discouraged... Especially since the contractions had gotten stronger and longer in the tub... She gave me the option to go home or stay... wherever I thought I might be more comfortable..

Since I don't want to be in the hospital for three days before Josiah comes I decided to come home... The nurse definitely thinks this is labor... She felt kinda 50/50 about me going home... But assured us that we probably won't make it to our appointment on this coming Thursday... She believes we will back tonight sometime...

I really hope she is right... We got home and I was able to get a little bit of a nap... After that I had a little bit of hysterical crying because I feel like such a failure.. Like my body just can't do this right... Then I sat and crocheted booties in between contractions... They come as close as 5 minutes apart but as far as ten... So I am still getting discouraged that this isn't it... The only thing that makes me think that it is, is that some of the contractions are PAINFUL and they last well over a minute....

Please pray this baby makes an appearance before tomorrow morning.... I don't think I can take days of this without any pain meds... My back feels like it is going to break in half...

If we have any news to report in the next couple of days we certainly will... I hope our wishes for our Christmas baby come true...

How do they seem to know??

Tonight while I was crying my eyes out, feeling like I truly can not take much more of this, Emma crawled up in my lap babbled some incoherent words and then hugged me...

Now we aren't talking some little hug that was over in 5 seconds! She stayed there for a long time... Occasionally patting me and saying mom-mom... Did she know that I really needed a hug at that point?? Are they really that perceptive???

I think I found yet another reason amongst the millions that I love my Emma.

In other news... Not to be disgusting... but I lost my mucus plug tonight... since then I have been having irregular painful contractions... we shall see... with Emma it was two weeks after the fact that she was born... Since nothing else has gone the same why would this?? Maybe we will have good news in the near future. I so wanted to have a little baby to hold for Christmas... I am afraid that isn't going to happen...

(Man I have been a blogging maniac this week! Must be that new cable internet!)

Look what I made!!

I am trying to keep myself busy and not think about myself NOT going into labor yet... So I am making booties... They are quick and easy... Not sure if I will use them... But when you are bored... You will do anything!!

Okay something really strange just happened...
We are in the middle of a big snow storm... I am sitting here at the desk and a HUGE thunder just sounded followed by another one... What is up with that?? Thunder and snow... that isn't supposed to go together!!

Well I am off to find some more things I can make with all this spare time I have on my hands... Someone remind me how I will be wishing for this time in a few weeks!

Such is my life!

Pete came home last night sicker than a dog... He has been fighting some kind of cold or virus for almost a week now... I guess last night was the last straw!

Due to his job... diesel mechanic.. he doesn't have a nice climate controlled place to work and so therefore has steadily gotten sicker with our subzero temps over the course of the week!

I said that to say this... Why????

Why would he get sick so close to D-day?? I don't want to leave my hubby behind while I run off to the hospital... especially since I don't want to be alone if Josiah does have problems... I am finding myself today hoping against hope the baby holds out now till Pete gets better... And also that Emma and I don't get sick... I am afraid that if Emma were to get this upper respiratory thing that it would send her into a bout of Croup... Please no! That was horrible last time! That is all I need! A baby in the hospital... a sick husband... and me in labor!

Pete just called me... It is official he has bronchitis... Doc sent him home with an antibiotic and a cough suppresent... Oh and the best part of all... He is contagious! Yippy skippy...

Nothing else to report on the baby front... Other than the usual contractions that kept waking me up last night... Come out Josiah... Come out... Anyone have any natural remedies for that?? Besides Castor Oil ( I am not fond of diarrhea!) or you know what (couldn't even if I wanted to!)????

Oh and I almost forgot.. sorry for that little blip with the template... I was trying things out yesterday and got interrupted! Everything is back to normal...

My somewhat good news...

I had an appointment today with my midwife...

Basically the same old stuff different day... Baby looks fine... I look fine... Well aside from the additional three pounds I have put on... Ugh!

So my good news... If for some reason I go past my due date she said that due to the situation with all my contractions and how uncomfortable I am she would induce me at 41 weeks not 42 which is the usual protocol...

Thanks... I guess....

Today I went out to try and walk this crazy baby out! Emma, Nana and I went to the mall and walked around for two hours... Then to Toy's R Us and then to Walmart... If I didn't succeed in putting myself into labor tonight I sure as hey made myself sore!!

Well it was worth the try I guess.

The Full Moon

I just found out that the next full moon is this Thursday the 15th...

Now while I have resigned myself that our little guy isn't going to come until January do you think that it really hurts to hope for labor to spark during the full moon???

Finally! Some Christmas pictures!

Ah... The long awaited tree pictures... Very nicely uploaded with our new cable internet... I must comment on how nice it is to be able to upload a picture in a matter of seconds... Sigh... I love my new internet...


Daddy laying in the snow cutting down the tree... At one point he yelled at me and Emma and told us it was coming our way... But I just laughed and said... Nope it is about to land on you!!
Me and Emma carrying the tree back to the trolley... Thank God you couldn't see how big I was in this picture!!
Here is Emma trying to put some decorations on the tree... It was so cute when she couldn't get them on... She would pout and then bring them to us...
Here is our finished product... Now there are presents under the tree... Amazingly enough Emma hasn't really bothered them yet! And we only have a week and half to go... so we will see!

So I just have to say... It is about time that our family got up with the times and got some highspeed internet! We ended up going with the cable... Steep prices... but nice when you spend most of your free time on the net!

Okay... so here is what I have decided... Josiah isn't coming until January... If he comes before then then I will be highly surprised and excited... But I am tired of getting my hopes up with every twinge.. So now... I am shooting to have the first New Year's Baby so I can be on TV and get free stuff!!! How fun would that be! Plus I am thinking maybe it would be better if he was born AFTER Christmas so his birthday won't be mixed in and forgotten about during the holidays...

This week is bad for us anyways... For the next few nights it is going to be in the single digits temperature wise... Tonight it will be ZERO... which for those of us out here away from the city means below zero...

37 weeks

I have officially made it to full term pregnancy...

So... because of this... and due to the fact that Emma was born at 37w5d I am becoming antsy to say the least...

I am extremely tired of being pregnant... I am tired of having contractions all the time... I am tired of Josiah grinding his head into my bones... I am tired of all of it... Oh yeah... I am also tired of the fact that I seem to not be able to empty my bladder anymore either... so I have that pain too!

But definitely most of all I am tired of the contractions... I have endured them longer this time... and I think I deserve a medal of some sort... whaddya think?? I am sick of having them strong hard and regular for two or three hours then mysteriously stop all together... It is getting to the point now where I would gladly welcome all the pitocin in the world to get them to stay around and do something...

Last night and this morning has been particularly hard... They have been stronger and more painful then they have ever been so far... I hope it is a sign.. cause if not I might just go crazy...

Anyways... on a lighter note... We will have cable internet as of tomorrow... We found out Friday that we can't have DSL here because we have old phone lines... Stinks! Cause now we got to pay for the dumb cable internet... which I might add isn't exactly cheap!! But I guess since we keep in contact this way we have no choice... Oh so to whom it may concern... we will be getting you all our new email address...

So in the next few days I should have those pics up of Emma and the Christmas tree... It will be nice to be able to do that in a matter of minutes!

Keep thinking baby thoughts!

Our last night out

Tonight was probably Pete and I's last night out for a long time... Come to think of it it was actually the first in a long time too!!

Anyways... We went to Garcia's for a late lunch... Both of us secretly hoping the mexican spices would send me into labor...

Then we went to see a late matinee... We chose Narnia... so I thought I would come on and tell everyone what I thought...

It was good... for a book made into a movie... but my opinion is that the symbolism that C.S Lewis was trying to get across was totally lost in the movie for the most part.

If I was an unbeliever I think that I would receive the message and understand what Lewis was trying to portray better through the book... I am not sure how an unbeliever would see the symbolism in the movie..

But all in it was a good way to spend a few hours... We will probably end up buying the movie...

No news yet on the other!

Tried and failed

Well I tried to upload some pictures again... but to no avail!!

Oh well...when we get cable internet here in a week or so I will be sure to get them up before Christmas... Come to think about it... It will be nicer to upload pictures of the new edition when he decides to show as well!!

Everyone think baby thoughts this weekend!!

What could this mean??

I woke this morning in extreme discomfort...

It would seem that the baby dropped sometime in the night... well that is the only thing that I can think anyways! And if that is the case I know exactly when it happened... 6am... I woke to a horrible pain and the sensation of him rolling his head around in my pelvis... it was terrible!! I had to get up to see if I could get him to move!

It now is very uncomfortable to sit for very long... I can no longer bend over... and if I move just right I get this shooting pain in my pubic bone and am rewarded with a miniature baby head twisiting around in my pelvis... Not to mention the constant urge to go to the bathroom... and not just pee...

Boy if I have to deal with this for the next three weeks I could become very cranky!!

Oh and also... tons of cramping today... Not necessarily contractions... although I still get those... but a crampy kind of period pain...

Oh well.. I have resigned myself to just assume he isn't coming till January... Hey.. New Year's baby would be nice... then we could be on tv and get free stuff!!

Christmas Pictures... and um... I guess some nesting...

Okay so I was going to post some pictures of Pete, myself and Emma hunting for Christmas trees and decorating it as well as the finished product... but either stupid blogger or my dumb connection won't let me do it!!!

Along the same lines though... I got some good news today... Our current internet provider is no longer going to provide dialup service... the bad part was that I was getting it for free... so now if we want internet we will have to pay someone! So... since it will cost us about $15 we are going to look into DSL... Highspeed dialup... The best part of all this is that it will no longer take FOREVER to upload pictures... pages... and email and stuff... I am actually kinda excited about it... even if we will have to put out some money...


Okay so on with the nesting part of my topic... Today I was sitting thinking about how much I wanted to clean... um... not like me at all.. I usually do it because it has to be done... not because I have any desire to do so..

This is what I got done....

• I made two loaves of pumpkin bread
• Six pounds of fudge
• Cleaned and vacuumed Emma's room
• Cleaned... top to bottom... the works... Emma's bathroom.
• Cleaned the living room... straightened everything up and vacuumed
• Cleaned the kitchen... we are talking dishes... counters... table... Disinfected every flat surface I could find... cleaned the stove... Put away a bunch of dishes and things we aren't using right now... then swept and mopped the floor.
• Three loads of laundry... which I am going to go fold after this....

So the only thing left that I want to do is...

• Clean our bedroom... top to bottom...
• Clean our bathrrom... top to bottom...
• Change our sheets... ( I want to have clean pillow cases on the pillows I take to the hospital!
• Pack my bag...

I am kinda hoping to get it done tonight... but I am not sure how that is going to go since it is ten after 8... Although if I have enough gumption I could always stay up till midnight to finish it...

So that is the news on this end... and trust me everyone... if there was a baby... you would know about it!!!

Edited to add.... Um... 9:45pm... finished the list... boy am I pooped... I just pray Emma sleeps tonight so I can get some rest...

Just another day in paradise

Well I made it another day... Although I know everyone thinks I am actually in the hospital right now... Such is not the case.

I stopped contracting... UGH!! As annoying as it was I would have liked it to continue so that maybe this crazy baby would come out!

I did have a bout of contractions this afternoon. But they amounted to nothing... I am currently contracting again as of about an hour ago... We shall see..

My mom says he has to be born tomorrow... it is her birthday! Happy Birthday Mom...but I don't think you will be getting your birthday wish... sorry!

Today a lady from church... a friend... came at around 7am to watch Emma while hubby and I got some much needed rest. She then stayed all day and let me take a nap... Heavenly!!

As I was laying in my bed this afternoon this thought came to me... This is probably the first time ever in all of Emma's life that I have been given a break... at my house... where I can enjoy my bed! Sure she has been to grandma's a couple of times and Pete and I have been on dates... but how nice was it to be able to have someone come and watch Emma without any of us having to leave?

I need to get this off my chest as well... So that hopefully when I get baby fever in a year I can come back and read it... I hate being pregnant... To me it is a means to an end... Pregnancy and Bekah DO NOT get along... My back problem is ten times worse during pregnancy... my uterus thinks she is too good to carry human life... and my head is convinced it is okay to continue to create massive migraines in the face of no medication...
I am sooooo discouraged right now... I could punch things.. but what would that solve... all I want to do is curl up and cry my eyes out... Even though I know that they is a light at the end of the tunnel I am failing to see it... I bite everyone's head off... I basically feel VERY depressed and I am just plain sick of people asking me how I feel... How do you think I feel people??? Don't you have something better to ask me!?? The one thing that keeps me going are the few people that continually encourage me and gently remind me that I can do this and it is almost over... I just keep thinking about the baby... the reward... although in this case I am afraid to get my hopes up... When we were told in August that Josiah had a cyst on his brain I have been worried about it since... I do have some peace that he will be okay... but there is this other part of me that is getting very scared as we get closer to due date... The cyst can indicate Trysomy 18... A deadly defect... most babies die within hours of birth... The neonatologist doesn't seem worried... although it is his job to give all the gory details and possibilities... My midwife doesn't seem worried although it is her job to not say one way or the other!! I can only hope that a few months from now I will look into the smiling face of my son and realize that he made it! That God created him just they He wanted him to be...

Oh I almost forgot... to top off all this nastiness with myself Emma seems to be coming down with a cold... Fun!!!

I am with Jamie on this one... Come to the light Josiah... the bright light!!

The verdict

Well after a bad weekend of contractions and two nights of no sleep I decided to give in and call the midwife. I started contracting Saturday night and by Sunday morning they were ten minutes apart. All day long this went on. Then last night at about 1 am they started to get closer together... until they ended up being 4 minutes apart and very painful... I tried all kinds of positions... Nothing worked... they finally spaced out enough that I ended up with about 3-4 hours of sleep.

So I had to go in to get checked today according to the midwife. When I got there I was in a definite contraction pattern that was noted on my chart... The nurse checked me...

Here is the results...




I am 1 (count it people) 1 cm dilated... disturbing considering the amount of pain I was in... the good news is that I am 50% effaced which means my cervix is halfway thinned out... Good thing considering a week ago I wasn't effaced at all..


So after a bawl fest in which I smeared all my makeup and made myself look like the the swamp thing I bucked up and decided not to concentrate on the one centimeter but on the 50% effacement and the fact that the nurse said I could very well be in pre labor that could take a few days to become active...

So anywho.... everyone root for Wednesday... it is my mom's birthday and she thinks Josiah should share it as well!

Pray for some shut eye for me as well... I could use it.

Someone please just shoot me....

Allright... I know what you guys are all thinking... Great... more boring reading about poor little old Bekah's contractions... Click... Think I will move on now...

But seriously now... I need someone to vent too!

I am trying soooo hard to stay positive right now... but with every day that goes by and I still don't have anything to show for all these stinkin' contractions I just want to... well I don't really know what I want to do...

Last night was horrible... everytime I woke up I was in the middle of a really bad contraction... so therefore I would have no control and couldn't relax... Then here is the worse part... This morning Pete and I were up at about 8. I started to get the contractions about 3-6 minutes apart... So painful that I would have to literally stop whatever I was doing and concentrate on relaxing and breathing. And if anyone tried to talk to me I wouldn't answer... The went on like this for about two hours... Getting worse with every one... I was SURE this was going to be the day... I even called my mom (wait... that is what made it stop!) Then at about 10... NOTHING...

Why??? I just don't understand why I have to go through this... it just isn't fair... everyone else I know that has babies... just has them... No big deal. Why can't I be this way?? I just sit and cry when I think about it... And what makes it so bad this time is that if he isn't born earlier than Emma then I will have gone through it much longer and be all the more tired at the end. Like I am down before I even start.

I starting to really believe that I am going to go all the way to my due date. I know I shouldn't complain as I am not really even close to my due date... Four weeks... but I just can't take much more of this... I am becoming sleep deprived... my attitude stinks... and I just don't want to be around anyone anymore...

They say that no two pregnancies or labors are alike... I can deal with that... But it is becoming very hard to not say.. hey... at this point with Emma I was almost done ( I didn't know it! but I was!) Because who is to say that he won't decided to show up 4 weeks from now?? On Monday I will be 36 weeks... And within a week and a few days of when Emma showed up... Do you think that the old wives tale that the second baby comes sooner is true?? Cause I am beginning to think NOT...


My only hope now is that those HORRIBLE contractions from this morning will grace us with their presence later on today and stay... wouldn't it be just convenient too with it being the weekend and all???

Guess I should update

I guess I forget that being pregnant and close to my due date will cause people to wonder if I don't blog on a regular basis!

Sorry everyone!

Well the contractions continue... Pete and I thought that it might be labor on Monday when I contracted most of the evening. They were painful, 6-8 minutes apart and 45-60 seconds long... Techinically the time that you would THINK you were in labor... But did they continue??? NOPE!

Then on Tuesday and Wednesday I had them on and off for most the day and night. But nothing to write home to mom about so... I just shrugged them off and figured that my lovely body (who hates being pregnant) is just playing tricks on me as usual....

But then last night it started again... In the middle of the night... Ugh... Why is it always in the middle of the night. And to top it off this time, I can't stop peeing... What is that?? Like every ten to fifteen minutes I am in the bathroom... Also this immense pressure on my pelvis... I am beginning to wonder if I have a bladder infection. Hm...

It will do me no good to sit here and analyze everything and wonder if I will ever go into REAL labor... So here I sit. Looking at my daily blog rounds. Checking email... and waiting for Christmas... seriously believeing this little monkey isn't going to grace mommy and daddy with a tax deduction for 2005....

Oh... and soon... I hope... I have some pics of Emma that I need to share. They are from our trip to the tree farm this past Saturday and then helping decorate the tree... Very cute!

Everyone thing labor thoughts please!

I made it!!

Today the midwife gave the green light so to speak!! She said I am officially 35 weeks and can have my baby anytime now with her blessing! And I won't have to go to the big city hospital.... The countdown is on... Emma was born at 37 weeks...

I am trying to stay optimistc... but why do I have a bad feeling he will be born late???

Oh... I was also thinking how nice it would be to go into labor tonight with Pete home and Emma at my parents.... Life could only be so good!

When it rains it pours!

Saturday night I got up around 3 in the morning to... you guessed it... go to the bathroom!! When I got back to bed I asked Pete to go out to the living room to get my migraine medicine. When he stepped on the floor he screeched and said... Ewww I think that dog peed on the carpet...

I was like... um... okay... so he got down with a towel and that is when he realized that the carpet was wet a huge area. The whole walk way by the door, under the bed and in the closet. So we proceeded to try and figure out what could have gone wrong! First we though the frig... it is on the other side of the bedroom wall. But nope it wasn't that! Then we thought maybe the pipe had come undone from the washer in the hall by the bedroom... Nope not that either... Then it dawned on Pete... The hot water heater is in our closet. So he said a few choice words and went flying out the backdoor ( the shutoff valve for our water is out there) only to find water POURING out from under the house. He shut off the water and we thought.... great!!...

It turns out that pressure was somehow building up in the pipes that connect to the outgoing water and the water heater. The fitting had blown and we had no idea how long it had been like that!

Pete fixed it Sunday and for 8 hours it held. We had just gotten into bed and were almost asleep when we heard a boom and tons of rushing water... It blew again!! Another night of no sleep!! ( for Pete anyhow. He worried while I slept a little)

This morning Pete went to the park maintenance man who came in and fixed it free of charge for us. He used a different fitting and so far so good! But Pete stayed home anyways to make sure it wouldn't blow while I was alone.

The good part in all this is that Emma spent the night with my parents and Pete and I were able to spend the evening together alone which was nice since tomorrow is our anniversary!!!

So the pouring of the rain comes in because we also have to have the brakes and rotors repaired in the van before we can have it inspected by the end of the month... Good thing that Pete is a mechanic!!!

Changes!

So I was getting really bored with that gray color on my last template... Kinda depressing... So I switched to this one... Don't know if it is any better though.

Oh and I also decided I needed to add a ticker to help remind me that IT is almost over!!

We made a little trip to the hospital this morning... again. This time I was feeling lots of yuck and wet down there and TONS of pressure with every contraction that I have.

So when I got there they checked to see if I was leaking fluid.... NOPE! And she didn't seem all that concerned about the pressure since my cervix was still closed. But! She said that it could definitely be the cause of the horrendous hemorrhoids that have moved in down south which may I add are totally uncomfortable, painful and torturous?... At any rate... The baby's heartrate was kinda fast so they wanted me to stay and be watched for a little while. They tanked me up with some fluids and watched my contractions and then deemed me able to go home.

I only have one complaint.... The nurse asked me what I was having... I said a boy. So she says awww... the million dollar family!... I answer, Yup I am done, it is apparent to me my body doesn't like to be pregnant!

Here it is... sit down... the rudeness is about to come... Ready??

She answers "Well, a little more time between babies would probably have done the trick!"

WHAT????? How rude is that?? Is it any of her business how close my children are?? Besides all that, Emma was 11 months old when I got pregnant... she should concentrate that statement on women who find themselves with child again before their six week checkup (not that that is a problem in my eyes either!)... Someone should tell that lady to SHUT UP! And besides all that if it had anything to do with the spacing of the kids then I wouldn't have had this same exact problem with Emma.

Okay I am done ranting about it.

Thanksgiving was very nice! We played games and food and watched the snow come down outside! Here is the only problem as far as I could see... Being pregnant during the holidays stinks! You can't fit as much pie in there as your little heart desires!!

Cloth Diapers, Ebay, and Thanksgiving....

I have been cloth diapering Emma for a week now. It is actually going great! We still use disposables at night because lazy me hasn't finished her wool soaker!! We also used disposables on Sunday because the little skirt she wore would have never fit over a cloth diaper. As for tomorrow I am pretty sure I am going to cart all the cloth diapering paraphanelia over to grandma's. We will give it a whirl somewhere besides home.

So Jamie encouraged me to go on eBay the other day to check out cloth diapers and such... Can I just say... FUN!!! I got a really good deal on 4 AIO's (all in one, no diaper cover needed) and a small wool cover with a monkey on the butt for Josiah! The best part about the AIO's is they are supposed to be one size fits all... so they fit birth to potty. If I like them on Emma, then I plan to buy a bunch more and the two kids can share them. They would be VERY convenient for going out, going to church, and for daddy to changer dipes!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the good ole US... Pete, the baby(for not much longer!) and I will be going to my grandma's for dinner. We are excited about spending time with family. On this past Monday my mom and I spent all day cooking for Thanksgiving. We made an apple pie, pecan pie, cherry pie, and pumpkin pie. Also some homemade french bread and sugar cookies. Then today I stuck some miniature cheesecakes in the oven so that we could have those to snack on as well.

It promises to be a fun day... Grandpa has to work till 3.... bummer! But someone has to run the Y on the holidays too I guess. But he has informed us he plans on being sociable and playing a game this year.... his words! So we are packing a bunch of those into the car as well tomorrow morning.

Speaking of morning... the commute should be right nice due to the fact they are expecting four inches of snow by morning... Lovely!

Hey at least Emma will get to wear her new boots!!

Oh yeah almost forgot.... news on the baby front.... Same old same old... contractions most the night but I was able to get some sleep... I have been feeling some flu like symptoms the past two days.. nausea and diarrhea.... hope it is nothing!

Woohoo!!!!!

I made it one more week!!! Today I am officially 34 weeks. Only one more week left to go till we are in the safe zone for prematurity!!!

I am still getting contractions. Some days are better than others. Night time is usually pretty bad for me. Just like it was with Emma.

For the most part they are just tightenings during the day. But at night... well that is when they get bad. Last night I was up for two hours with them. I would just doze off between them and I would get another worse than the last that would wake me right up. I just breath through them and it seems to get me through.

Today I was talking to Pete and I said "Hey! Since all these contractions started two weeks earlier than they did with Emma, if they follow the same pattern then there is a good possibility that we could have a baby by the end of NEXT week!" (Don't worry... my hopes are no where near up!)

He looked at me, shook his head and said... "Boy that makes it finally sink in, doesn't it?"

Uh... dear?? Just to let you know... We are having a baby.

Letting Everyone Know

The contractions have subsided enough for me to NOT worry about them... Still there but not painful...

We are still betting on an early December baby instead of late December early January... Anyone else want to venture a guess???

Dec 12 will put me at the mark where I was when I went into labor with Emma... but since the nonsense started up two weeks earlier with Josiah we are wondering if he won't just make his debut two weeks earlier than Emma did... BUT! No one knows that but God... and Josiah!

Just you wait and see I'll still be luggin' this belly around on New Year's!

I knew it!!!

I don't usually blog about the news... But this I couldn't pass up...

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Health/story?id=1317690

I knew that I was right! Tonight on the news I heard Dr. Ferber himself say that his method of putting a child to sleep is not always the right way...

So when the nurse at our pediatrician's told me to go home over the weekend and let her cry it out till she fell asleep, and I thought HOW BARBARIC! I was RIGHT!

Oh and this is good....

"Actually, there is no change, I think that's a misconception," said Ferber, the director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at the Children's Hospital in Boston. "Our approach has always been one of compassion."

Yeah... whatever... Compassion... Riiiight... So we let our kids scream till they are scared crapless thinking that we are never going to come and get them if they need us!!! I am sorry.... But I find it very hard to believe that a child under the age of one has this going through their mind... "Hmm... if I cry just a bit longer I KNOW she will come get me... hehehhe.... Just like I planned...."

Okay I am done now.

Labor??? Or not???

Well here is the second soaker that I finished... The picture isn't very good. But this time I knitted on the cuffs to make them rolled. The next one I make is going to have that cream colored waistband with that blue verigated body, cream colored cuffs and a verigated blue tie.

Back to our regularly scheduled post.

I coulda swore I was in labor last night. In fact if it had been closer to my due date I probably would have packed it up and went to the hospital.

I started to get uncomfortable contractions at around 8:45 last night. They were about 8-10 minutes apart. By two in the morning the pain was keeping me awake and they had gotten closer... 4-6 minutes apart. At this point I couldn't sleep anymore. Since I am only 33 weeks I just laid there and prayed that God would give Josiah at least two more weeks of development. Especially if he does have a problem (the cyst) then at least then he would have a better fighting chance.

At any rate. By the time morning came they had finally died down to a dull roar and I was able to just breath through them and then they stopped. Problem is that now around lunch time today they started back in again. Now they are 7 minutes apart and I feel pressure with them. They don't really hurt though.... I don't know what I should do. Seeing as how my midwife is on vacation... the one I spoke with on Monday said.. well they are just Braxton Hicks... Ignore them... At what point do I stop ignoring and start worrying????

As much as I want to see Josiah and hold him in my arms I want to wait at least TWO MORE WEEKS....

Updates

I had an appointment with the midwife yesterday. ( Not MY midwife... she is on vacation... but that is a different story!)

Anywho! I am staying steady with the weight gain... Thank God! I didn't gain anything the past two weeks... which was fine since I had that nice 9 pound weight gain a month or so back...

The baby's heartrate was in the 150's... Uh... Josiah.. are you sure those were boy parts we saw in there????

And my belly is measuring right where it should be for 33 weeks.... So unfortunately there is no chance that just maybe by some stroke of luck I was farther along.... Oh well..

And then after last weeks incident at the hospital, the midwife proceeded to tell the little baby to stay in there for at least two more weeks so that he could be born at our hospital.

Anyways.. here is the story with the midwives...

The one that I see is an old coworker from when I used to work in the maternity ward at Samaritan hospital. So we knew each other. At any rate she "specialed" me for Emma's birth. Which means that she came in for the birth even though she wasn't on call that night. So she plans on doing the same for Josiah.... Here lies the problem... As long as I am not truely in labor the other midwives have to attend me till it is determined that I am in active labor. I think that one of the midwives has a problem wit that. Well when I went to the office I had to see the other midwife because mine is on vacation. She was very short with me and did only what was necessary for the appointment then told me that when I was do to come back Michelle would be back from vacation....

I told her... hey.. it is okay that I had to see you today... It didn't bother me... She kind of looked at me with a weird look and said... Well I thought you WANTED Michelle. To which I answered I do and walked away... How weird is that??? So know I am thinking that maybe I should tell Michelle this so that she is aware that maybe Margaret is kind of miffed that I don't want to see her..... Sigh... I can't wait till all this is over....

We are shooting to make it to 35 weeks. That is the Tuesday after Thanksgiving... Anytime after that he is more than welcome to come and greet the world! Hopeing for a Christmas baby....

Wool Soakers

So I knitted my first wool soaker... but it isn't wool it is just plain old acrylic yarn. I heard somewhere that you can use acrylic but it wouldn't be leak proof for a whole entire night. I used this pattern... I used size 7 circular needles and then size 7 dpns. I never checked my guage.. I sorta just wung it! But the best part is that my homemade cloth diapers fit perfectly in the cover!

I followed the directions to the tee except for the cuffs... I just used three rows of single crochet stitching in the back loop of the stitch.

I ended up finding some wool yarn at AC Moore, a local craft store. So I picked up two skeins of Lionbrand Wool. And then some cool stuff handspun in Chile. I can't wait to use it. When I have those knitted or crocheted up I will share!

Cloth Diapers and weird pregnancy dreams

So I decided that I would sew my own cloth diapers to save even more money than I would by just purchasing them off the internet. The fun part was trying to make a pattern with some paper without buying a pattern. My mom and I worked for an hour and made two prototypes before we agreed on a good size for a newborn. My mom sewed while I cut the material.

For the outer layer we used flannel from Walmart that cost $2.57 a yard. For the outer layer that will touch Josiah's butt we used fleece (a natural wicking agent!) that was the same price. Then for the inside layers inside the diaper we used two layers of an ugly flannel that I got for $1 a yard. And the soaker pad is made out of washclothes folded in thirds. They were 18 for $4. All in all I am going to get about two dozen diapers for $40. They will last for a few months. If we bought disposables for three months it would cost about $240! So yippy!! We saved tons of money. Then when the baby is a couple of months old I will make some more only bigger. They have to be used with diaper covers. I had already had those from Emma so that worked out great!

After doing so much research on the net about cloth diapers and seeing how much they cost I had about given up on using anything other than the good old square cloth diapers that you buy at the store. Then when I saw this pattern on the internet due to my friend Jamie I became excited with the possiblity of being able to make them on my own. It worked great and I plan on making them for the whole time for Josiah. I believe that it will be easier for potty training. I really should make some for Emma as well and just be done with it! But I hate to put the money into it when I am almost done with her! Especially since we have two mega huge boxes of diapers in the closet for her!

The last thing that I want to do is make some wool soaker covers. I found this on the net yesterday and plan on trying it as soon as I can find some "real" wool yarn. I can't get that at Walmart. So it may not pay for me to make them. If that is the case I may just buy some fleece covers off the web and call it good. They run about 15 dollars a piece. But you only need one a night.




Okay moving on....

I am thinking that I may be strange. But has anyone ever had a toilet dream??? I have them all the time. And probably more so now since I am pregnant and have to pee all night!

In my dreams I usually have to go really bad!! But when I finally find the toilet it is out in the open. No stall doors. Or maybe there are doors but there aren't any walls between the stalls. Sometimes there are walls but they aren't tall enough. And then sometimes it is just like one big huge communal bathroom with a whole bunch of toilets just sitting out in the open. And it seems like I am the only one that cares that there is no privacy! Everyone else just goes about their business like there is no problem at all!

My personal favorite (but only for the humor!) is when I finally find these toilets all out in the open like that they are all usually full from the last user. You know! Kinda like when you go to Walmart and skip over three or four stalls till you find one with clean water in it!

Anyways.... I am guessing that you are all going to think I am just about the wierdest person in the world. But these are my toilet dreams! Come on... someone please tell me I am not alone in all this!

Enough Already!!!

Man.... I had hoped against all hope that this pregnancy was going to be different than the last one....

Nope!

All weekend I had painful contractions that really annoyed me and made me uncomfortable... Now I am only 32 weeks today. (That would mean I would be 8 weeks early for those of you that don't know the week breakdown of a pregnancy!) So I decided to call the office today. They made me come in to Labor and Delivery so that they could watch for a bit.

Don't you know that as soon as I walked through the doors of the hospital the contractions stopped?? Isn't that always how it works???

Anyways.... the point I am trying to make...

During my pregnancy with Emma I had started to have contractions about 33 weeks but they were painless. But the problem was that towards the end when they did start to hurt (about two weeks before her birth) I never really knew when I was in labor! I had so been hoping that this go around I would never have a painful contraction before labor so that I would feel the first one and say HEY!! I must be in labor....

After watching me for a little while they decided it wasn't labor and that the baby was okay.. and of course good news... my cervix is long thick and closed... So no dilation... Hope that means the baby will stay put for at least three more weeks so I can deliver at my hospital instead of the medical center in the city. If I can get to 35 weeks they won't really consider him a preemie... Since Emma was born at 37 weeks I am hoping he is going to come early as well... All the signs seem to pointing in that direction... What with everything going exactly as it did before only a week or two sooner... Hey I wonder if that means he will be born earlier than Emma??

I guess now I am just going to hope that my water breaks as a sure sign... *Sigh* I just wish I could have a normal pregnancy....

Oh the bliss....

Emma is completely off bottles now... I wanted to have a break with the washing and what not before Josiah came! So yesterday we had a little party... We got all of Emma's bottles together and let her throw them away in the trash... Then we all clapped our hands and said Yah!!!!

Now since we did that she goes to sleep without even crying... I think that the fact that she visually saw them go in the trash really helped... I am sooooo happy that she is off the bottle... Next hurtle?? Potty training... but I think that is going to wait until spring when she turns two... I don't have the energy right now to deal with that.... Not to mention I probably should get her into a big girl bed before we do that.

The nesting bug is really biting me... I never really did that with Emma but this go around it is really driving me batty... I am having to have things in all the right places and I want it done NOW! Not yesterday.... I FINALLY hung the pictures and quilt up next to Josiah's bed and we got the glider rocker in next to it. I want to get a nursing stool to put my feet up... Then I need to plug the pretty nightlight in on the little table... I want to finish organizing all of his clothes... I still need another little set of drawers or some under the bed storage for the rest of his stuff.... Space is limited here in the our bathroom...(Don't ask!! Those of you who know our house understand....)

We still have a list of stuff that we need to buy for the baby and we are not able to right now so of course that is driving me batty as well!!! Part of having the baby is the fun of getting everything ready and since we are short financially we can't do what I would like to do.... argh... the frustration...

Well maybe I will go and put my feet up for a little while and try to forget about it for a couple hours... I have plenty of time to worry about it tomorrow!

The Countdown Continues

I am now 31 weeks... Only 62 days to go till D-day.... Went to my midwife appointment yesterday.... Good news... I only gained two pounds in two weeks!!! Whew... Thank goodness!!! The baby was definitely head down! And she estimates him at around 3 pounds or so.... The bad news... I won't be able to see my wonderful midwife in two weeks cause she won't be there! So I have to settle for the other one.... I won't see Michelle again until 35 weeks for the dreaded Group B strep swab.... Then hopefully we will be on the home stretch by then...

Another fun thing happened today.... Our childbirth education lady who is also a doula has agreed to be OUR doula for free.... We are excited. But the condition was that we had to kinda understand that she may not be able to make it because her and her husband's second car is out of commission.... If this turned out to be the case she would "doula us" over the phone...
She has no qualms about it being Christmas time when I am due... And to make everything just perfect she is a born again Christian! So none of that earthy weird stuff....

Oh and I almost forgot....

I am enjoying the nice weather Buuuuttttt.... It woke up all the wasps and hornets around our house... So today when Emma and I were waving bye bye to Nana I got stung on my back by a wasp or hornet... not sure cause I didn't see it..... Man did that HURT!!! Still does in fact! How can something so small and easily crushed create such havoc! I was crying when it happened... mom was looking for a stinger and Emma was crying cause mommy was crying.... Oh welll.... Wasn't as bad as labor though! Which we will be experiencing the joys of again in short time.