In honor of the new pregnancy...

Emma's Birth Story

I got pregnant with Emma in August of 2003. I was due on May 10th, 2004. I started to have contractions at 28 weeks. They were somewhat painless but I would feel them every 4 to 5 minutes. So I called the midwives and they had me come in to get checked. They would tank me up with water and then send me home. By 32 weeks they were getting worse and I would end up with a few hours of painful contractions that were 4-5 minutes apart. At 33 weeks I went in to get checked again and they found the baby was very low and I was dilated 2 cms. They watched me for a little bit and then sent me home once the contractions dissipated. I was getting very discouraged and was wondering how I would ever know that I was truly in labor.
At 34 weeks and 6 days I went in because the contractions were now 2-3 minutes apart and had been going on all afternoon. Once I got there they hooked me up to monitor and I was having contractions. But my cervix hadn’t changed. They decided to keep me overnight to make sure that I wouldn’t have to be transferred to Albany Med. At midnight it would have been safe to have the baby there at St. Mary’s. I made it through the night and was sent home the next morning. Three days later, at 35w2d, I was at church and started to feel contractions again. They became 2-3 minutes apart again but were lasting up to a minute now. I called the midwife on call and she had me come in. I still remember to this day that the contractions got worse on the 20 minute drive there. And I remember doubling over in pain on the elevator as we were going up. When I got in Margaret was there and she checked me. I was 2cm and had some effacement. She smiled at me and told me if I kept this up we would have a baby by nightfall. I stayed and walked around and after about 2 hours it all stopped again. I was becoming very frustrated at this point. I went home and was wondering if there was something wrong with my body. If there was a reason why I had all this start and stop labor. I cried a lot. That same night at around 11pm I started to get intense back pain that came in waves like contractions. They wouldn’t go away no matter how much I relaxed and continued to drown myself in water. They had me come in again and gave me a shot of Nubain so that I could get some sleep. I went home the next morning… still no baby.
About a week later I began to have a ton of pressure in my perineal area that would be come very intense while having contractions. So I went into the hospital again. This time I was long, thick, closed and posterior. I was seriously beside myself. I was beginning to feel like a dunce and I was wondering if the nurses were snickering at me behind my back. I was also trying to figure out how my cervix could have closed up and moved back up again. I went home defeated again.
One week and a day later I was 37w2d. I started to have some contractions on a Sunday. This time I decided to ignore them. They came and went all day Sunday and through the night. By Monday morning I called my mom crying and told her I was pretty sure that these felt different and that I would have a baby that day. She told me to get some more sleep. I rested for a little bit. By lunch time they had disappeared again. So my mom and I took my car to get the oil changed at Walmart. While we were there I started to get contractions that were more painful then any I had had yet. I would have to stop in the aisle and hang on to a shelf to get through them. After the oil was done in the car we went back to my mom’s house and she ran me a bath. I got in and tried to relax and tell myself that if this wasn’t it I would be able to get through another 3 weeks. These contractions didn’t stop. After 5 hours and at around 7pm I called the midwife on call. They told me to come in. I got there and I was 2cms. Progress from a week ago. But still, I wasn’t excited. They said that from the noise I was making and the way I was acting they were going to admit and have me try the Jacuzzi. I spent the whole night in the tub crying and wondering why it wasn’t progressing. I remember my mom being in the other room trying to entertain my husband. He was not really a support to me during this labor and delivery. Looking back I think he was still young and immature. At some point before daybreak on Tuesday the midwife, Michelle, that I see all the time and who was going to “special” me came in to check on me even though she wasn’t on call. She checked me and I was still only 2cms. But I had effaced some more. She suggested a shot of something even though she knew I didn’t want to use anything. The only thing I remember from dawn until lunchtime was them trying out two different medications and me being completely drunk and stupid off of them. I hated it. At lunch Michelle came in to check me again. I was still 2 cms. But it was obvious (I guess) that I was in labor. So even though I know she is not an advocate of them she offered me an epidural because she said I wasn’t coping anymore. I really struggled with this decision. But finally my mother told me that maybe I needed to let go of the ideal I had of birth. So in the epidural went. I had instant pain relief. I could finally breath. At this point they started pitocin. I didn’t care anymore since I had an epidural. All the rest of the day on Tuesday I laid in bed, ate and watched tv while they upped the pitocin. I never progressed past 3 cms.
Wednesday morning, I was now 37w5d, Michelle came in to check me and I was 4cm. She stripped my membranes and told me she’d be back at lunch. At lunchtime I was still 4 cm and she stripped my membranes again. At 4:30 she came up again to check me. Still 4 cms. She gave me one last offer. She told me that she could break my water but that if she did that and if I didn’t have a baby by the next morning I would be having a c-section. I okayed it because I had just had enough. At a little before 5 she broke my water and told me she was going to go eat dinner and would be back at 9pm to check me.
She wasn’t gone 15 minutes and I started to feel intense contractions and pressure even through my epidural. I had a window above my right hip that the epidural wasn’t even working on. I lost control and was screaming. My nurse came in to check me and her jaw hit the floor. She gasped and said “I think you’re complete.” I screamed “What!!??” pretty loudly. She dug around a little more and said “Nope you’re a 7 but I can stretch you to a 9.” She yelled to the other nurse to call Michelle back to the hospital.
Michelled walked back in between 5:30 and 6:00 I think (the times get muddled a little). She checked me and I think I was 8 at that point. By 7:00 I was complete and extremely pushy. All I remember about this part is that it was painful and seemed to last forever. I do remember I whined a lot. It wasn’t my finest hour ☹.
Finally after almost 2 and half hours of pushing Emma was born at 9:20. I remember at about 9:15 crying and asking when it would be over and Michelle said “I am pretty sure she will be born before 9:30!” She ended up being posterior with an asynclitic presentation
The things I recall about this birth are that, I was not as prepared as I should have been. I didn’t do much reading and I really didn’t take any childbirth classes. Things I hated about my birth were all the interventions. I hated that the most. It wasn’t how I had envisioned my baby’s birth. I was also very disappointed with how many nurses were in my room. I felt very much like I was on display. I hated that as well. It was way to bright in there and loud. The last two things that bothered me about it all was that my husband was a lousy support and I couldn’t have done it without my mother and my midwife.
The last thing about the whole affair that I wish I could change is that I failed at breasfeeding. In hindsight now I realize that I have very flat nipples and very fair skin. I was in so much pain. The LC at the hospital was a kook and the nurses all kept telling me that if I was doing it right it wouldn’t hurt. So after 5 days of nursing I quit.
I was very determined to make any of my future births different from this one. But I do remember feeling very empowered by the birth regardless of the measures that were taken to get her here.

Starting over again

So I have decided to start over on my blog. Not in a literal sense. I am going to start posting again and recording the journey of what I think will be my last pregnancy.

We found out at the beginning of December that I am pregnant with our 4th baby. It was planned and we are so happy that a new little one will be joining us this summer. I am secretly hoping for a little girl. But I will be happy with whatever God chooses to bless me with. We will also be having our first homebirth. This is what I am most excited about. I have wanted a homebirth since I was pregnant with Josiah. In fact if it hadn't been for the scare we had with Trisomy 18 and Down's, he would have been a homebirth. Then with Abby we were all set to have a homebirth but then found out our homebirth midwives would be out of town around the due date.

This go around I have found another homebirth midwife and will be having my first appointment with her next week. I can't wait! I am so excited to be able to form a relationship with the woman who will be attending my birth. Excited because I won't have to worry about which midwife will be on call for my birth because she is the one! I will have appointments with her monthly till 32 weeks then biweekly till 36 weeks then weekly. But these appointments will be an hour long as opposed to the short 15 min ones I have at the office I was currently going to.

I already met the apprentice midwife that works with the one I will be seeing. She is awesome and such a nice lady. She will be coming with me to my appointment. Now if I can just find babysitters for all these appointments I will be all set!!

My morning sickness is starting to dissipate I think. I am back to the point where I can eat without gagging but I still can't over do it. I have been craving a lot of fruits with this pregnancy. My favorite right now is grapefruit. If I could I would eat 3-4 a day! But since they aren't exactly cheap I try to limit it to 1-2 a day. Pete will be glad when I am able to cook for the family again and get the house back into order.

This week I will be having an ultrasound to check for a heartbeat for my own peace of mind. Because I have had a miscarriage in the past I tend to freak out until I see the baby and know that it is okay. I was going to try and go the pregnancy with only the 20 week ultrasound but I was having some anxiety over some cramping I was having. It will be nice to see the baby moving on the screen and see the little heart beating. It would also be nice to verify that there is only one little baby in there!

Well I think that does it for a little update. I will post about the ultrasound on Wednesday!