I'm in love with Dr. Brown!!!

Someone recommended Dr. Brown's bottles to me a couple of days ago due to Josiah's refusal to eat and the excessive gas.

Can I just say that the aforementioned Dr. Brown deserves a medal??? Josiah now takes three ounces at every feeding... Sleeps longer... Doesn't throw up and burps less!!! I am sooo happy that he is better!

The downfall?? The price!! Today while at Babies R' Us I was examining all the bottles... I decided on the skinny 4 ounce bottles... The price for ONE bottle was $4.99... Or I could get three for $12.99... I chose the set of three PRAYING that Josiah would actually like the bottle...

He did! And so tomorrow I plan on going back to the store and getting three more bottles... But I think that I will end up getting the 8 oz bottles because I don't want to invest in tons of 4 ozers only to have to back out and buy the bigger ones later on...

Thanks Dr. Brown!

Emma has taken to Josiah so well... Not a bit of jealousy... we are so thankful for that. She is constantly wanting to help... She will try to put his binky in his mouth when he is crying... She throws away dirty diapers for me... And she wants to help with everything else as well!

But tonight when I was in the kitchen cleaning out some bottles I hear this:

"Whhheeee!!"

I look in the living room and she is pushing the baby swing as far as it would go in both directions and poor Josiah was slumped all the way forward his little head bobbing...
I went CRAZY! I went in and told her NOOOOO you can hurt the baby that way... Of course she got very upset and proceeded to cry after I swatted her... (Yes... we spank our children... get over it!) But needless to say she hasn't done it again... Except later in the evening I caught her with a little makeup applicator for eyeshadow and she was trying to put that on Josiah as well...

Life will be interesting when they are finally able to play with each other!

Ah another cute thing.... She goes around and says in a sing songy voice...

" 'siah... 'siah... 'siah..."

That is what she calls him... Too cute!

Had to share this one!

How absolutely cute is my baby!??

Throw me a PARTY!!!!

Yeehaw!!

I just had to tell everyone that I fit into my prepregnancy jeans today! And I don't even mind telling everyone... they are a size 10!! I am sooo happy... It really bolstered my spirits to be able to do that! Not to mention. According to my scale I am back to prepregnancy weight... although I think it is a few pounds off according to the doctor's scale... So any weight that I lose now is BONUS!

Anyways.. enough boasting.

Josiah went in for his weight check today. He had gained 5 oz since last Friday. The doctor said that is completely acceptable. And being that he is my old boss he then proceeded to tell me to relax and stop being so uptight. He said to let Josiah eat when he wants and however much he wants. Stop looking at the marks on the bottles and stop worrying. So I guess that is what I am going to try to do.

Although I am thinking about trying out a different bottle to see if it helps any. I have been reading reviews on it tonight. They are pretty pricey. But compared to the Ventairs that we bought they are about the same. Maybe they will help with the gas and stuff... We shall see. Some of the reviews said it even allowed the babies to take more in one setting due to the reduction of air in their stomachs... Since I am currently using $1 dollar bottles maybe that is our problem! Too much air getting in there and so he isn't taking as much... I am desperate and will try pretty much anything. Although I am sure that Pete will grumble about the price I will remind him it is for a good cause! His son!!

1 down 6570 to go....

Days until Josiah turns 18.

I made it through my first night alone without Pete... With two kids to take care of!!

I am sooo glad it turned out well... I know it could have been worse... I also know that I will have worse days!! But Josiah was so good and Emma wasn't too, too bad... So it turned out better than I thought it was going to.

I had these horrible fears that I wouldn't be able to handle it... and that I wouldn't feel recovered enough to do it on my own... But I did... I took care of both of them... They both got fed and changed and loved on... I also folded some laundry, cleaned up the living room that was littered with toys and straightened up the kitchen a little...

I only hope that it goes this good for the rest of the week... Only because mommy seems to be coming down with a cold... the same one that wreaked havoc on the household the week before Josiah was born...

Pray that I don't get it as bad as Pete did!

The baby's rash is MUCH better... I think two days without all that excessive pooping really did the trick... I also have been vigilent about putting on the vaseline so I think that helped as well!
Also he is a bit of a tricky eater! He doesn't want to eat... So today I called the ped... I am going to be taking him in on Thursday for a weight check... He has done a bit better tonight... He took three ounces at 4:30... Better than his normal two ounces...

That is all I have time for tonight... Josiah is calling and thinks he is starving to death!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Something I learned this Christmas.... Bright red outfits against a dark background mixed with a flash don't always turn out so good! Mix in a toddler and a not so happy baby... sometimes disaster!

Oh well!! I thought everyone would enjoy a picture of the kids for Christmas anyways...

And this is what poor Josiah got for his first Christmas present... A bath!!

Hope everyone had a great Christmas... and had a wonderful time with family and friends!

*Update on the baby*

I keep forgetting to tell everyone... But Josiah ended up with a broken right clavicle from being stuck in the birth canal... It should heal and be better by his one month checkup... Nothing to worry about really... Although now... he has a lovely rash on his poor little bottom. It has become so red and raw that it is open and oozing... It's all the stinking pooping he does! One before and after every feeding... Poor little guy... We shall call the doc tomorrow for some advice... I have tried everything I know to take care of it and it just isn't working.

Josiah's Birth

On Sunday we ended up going back to the hospital at around 7ish... I was contracting every five minutes and the pain in my back was horrible... I thought that for sure this was finally it. So we trucked it back to the hospital.. this time with pillows and bags in hand.

When I got there I was not any more dilated... Disappointing... but they saw my contracting uterus on the monitor and decided it was worth a stay overnight... Pete and I walked the hallways for a little while and then got in the tub for a bit... At somewhere around ten or so they decided to give me some Nubain so I could get some sleep... Bad idea! The only thing that that accomplished was getting me into some kind of drunken state where I dreamed that I could fit two big marshmallows in a spice container... I heard our dog barking in the hospital and I asked Pete if he saw the fire too??

By Monday morning the contractions had spaced out so far that they decided I would probably go home... My midwife came in and gave me two options.... Strip my membranes and send me home... or don't strip my membranes and send me home... I figured well... stripping them didn't work with Emma... Oh well... So I said well go ahead and strip them and I will go home... After she did that painful act she proceeded to tell us that we could try other things to stimulate labor... A spicy meal.... Castor Oil.... Nipple Stimulation... Or Sex... I looked at her funny... Sex???
Yeah right!!

So we went on our way... stopped at the CVS for some Castor Oil and then went home to nap... Before hand we decided to try on of those "natural" inductions *wink*... After an hour nap I woke with the strongest contractions I had had yet... I was writhing in the bed... This was at about 11am... So after this went on for about two hours... I had tried a shower... eating... and walking around... nothing made them go away... my distraught husband (can't stand to see me in pain...) asked me to call...

We finally got to the hospital at about 2 or 3 that afternoon and the midwife checked me... She said Wow!! When you left this morning you were 2 cm... Now you are 3-4! And about two hours after that the nurse checked me again and I was 5 cm!! I was so excited now... I thought I am going to do this tonight!! But there was still this niggling thought in my brain that it would all stop and I would have to go home again...

At some point after finding out I was 5cm the nurse offered me the options of pain meds... I could have an injection (all of which make me act like a stark raving mad lunatic) or I could have an epidural... I just looked at her and said... but I am comfortable right now! I am dealing with each contraction as it comes and doing well! In fact I had been a high source of entertainment for the nurses thus far with my humor between the contractions...

As the night wore on it got closer to 9pm and my contractions had spaced out to about 10 minutes apart unless I stayed up and moving... So then the midwife came in and broke my water... Wow!! That sped things up like you wouldn't believe... After waiting about ten minutes the contractions came on quick and hard... I continued to manage well with the contractions... I used various positions... All fours.. standing leaning over the bed... The toilet... and leaning over the head of the bed with it all the way up in a 90 degree angle... The pain that I felt the most was at a point right about the center of my pubic bone... The pain was HORRIBLE... That was where I felt everything and it was very intense...

I am not sure of the time but probably close to 11:30 or so I started to go into transition... May I just say that is hell on earth with no meds??? I had waited too long... It appeared I had missed my window of opportunity for meds... I had managed so well so long that when I really needed the pain relief it was too late to get it... I struggled along... Screaming for meds... desperately trying to keep my bottom and legs relaxed and trying to find the strength to get through each contraction...

At around 11:45pm the midwife told me I had a small anterior lip on my cervix and that I could try to push around it... I tried a few times but it was half hearted and the pain continued to intensify at my pubic bone... at around 11:47 (or so I am told) I finally hit 10 cm and the midwife told me that the baby would be out in 1-3 contractions... I said good I can't take this much longer!! But the funny thing is that for that first contraction I refused to push cause I was too darn tired!! So for those last two contractions the urge to push totally overwhelmed me and I could not hold back... Strange moaning sounds emitted forth from my mouth and pushed like I had never pushed before... Strangely I never really felt that intense rectal pressure but the pubic pain worsened and I got the "ring of fire" that actually only lasted seconds...

A couple pushes later and his head was out... I could feel the relief and was waiting for that squishy feeling that you feel when the rest of the body comes out... But I didn't feel it... The midwife looked at me and said Bekah NOW would be a good time for a BIG push... I did so and nothing... Then she looked at the nurse and told her to call the other nurse and to push above my pubic bone... At this point... due to my experience as a nurse in labor and delivery I knew that the baby had shoulder dystocia... a condition where the second shoulder gets stuck above the pubic bone... after some weird manuevers with my legs and what Pete describes as "almost breaking the baby in half" he finally gave way... I still didn't know he was out though till a nurse said Bekah open your eyes you have a baby!! All this happened in a matter of 4 minutes... I pushed for about 4 minutes!!! Such a nice break after the two and half hours with Emma!

I looked down and saw him.. He was beautiful... I kept asking if he was a boy... They said yes... I noticed he wasn't really breathing but he eventually did... The midwife and nurses commented on how big he looked... But since I am used to a toddler he looked little to me!!

A few minutes later after Pete cut the cord and the baby had laid with me a little bit they took him to get weighed... They kept saying how big he looked and how he looked like a football player.... When they weighed him the nurse laughed and said Whoa!! He is 9lbs 12oz!! I was SHOCKED to say the least.. How could little ole me create an almost 10lb baby!!!

So his face was bruised a little but other then that he faired his difficult delivery well... Mom is fairing pretty well... A little sore and bruised herself but good none the less!!

I am very satisified with the way the delivery went... I loved the nurse I had at the time of delivery... She was awesome!!! She stayed in the room from the time they broke my water till the baby was born... She suggested all kinds of positions and really kept encouraging me and reminding me that it was almost over!! I loved her to death...and she is going to get a thank you card from us for sure!

I also wanted to add that even though we had that scare with the cyst in his brain Josiah came out perfectly healthy and formed... I thank God for that.

Also one other note about his name...

We chose the name Josiah before we ever found out if he was a boy or that there was a possible problem... Since then we found out that one of the meanings of Josiah is "Jehovah Heals" How true is it that his name fits the surroundings of his making and birth... We love Josiah and are very glad that God blessed us with his presence.

He's finally here!!!!

He is finally here!!! I thought it would never happen... But finally it did! After three trips to the hospital in two days we finally got to stay the last time and the end product was our baby!!

A couple of pics of our son!

Josiah Christian was born Monday December 19th at 11:51 pm... He was 9lbs 12 oz and 21.5 in long... I did natural with no meds... (Don't know what possessed me to do that!) and I didn't tear... a small miracle if you ask me...

So now I think I will go take care of the little one.. And since my rear end is killing me sitting in this chair I will come back later and write out all the gory details...

If you want to see a cute pick of Josiah with his sister go to www.setonhealth.org and click on New Arrivals... Go to Dec 19th and look under Josiah Christian...

More later!

Just thought I would update everyone...

I started to contract at 2:30am Sunday morning... They were about 15-20 minutes apart... I was able to get a little sleep for the next couple hours... But after a while they woke me again and steadily progressed to 5 minutes apart... At this point the pain in my back was unbearable so I called the midwife... She had me come in...

Once I got there the contractions had spaced out to 7 minutes apart but they checked me anyways... I was 2-3 cm dilated and 60-70% effaced... Progress!! So they suggested the jacuzzi... I was in there for a total of two hours... after which the nurse checked me again... No more dilation but up to as much as 80% effaced.... I got really discouraged... Especially since the contractions had gotten stronger and longer in the tub... She gave me the option to go home or stay... wherever I thought I might be more comfortable..

Since I don't want to be in the hospital for three days before Josiah comes I decided to come home... The nurse definitely thinks this is labor... She felt kinda 50/50 about me going home... But assured us that we probably won't make it to our appointment on this coming Thursday... She believes we will back tonight sometime...

I really hope she is right... We got home and I was able to get a little bit of a nap... After that I had a little bit of hysterical crying because I feel like such a failure.. Like my body just can't do this right... Then I sat and crocheted booties in between contractions... They come as close as 5 minutes apart but as far as ten... So I am still getting discouraged that this isn't it... The only thing that makes me think that it is, is that some of the contractions are PAINFUL and they last well over a minute....

Please pray this baby makes an appearance before tomorrow morning.... I don't think I can take days of this without any pain meds... My back feels like it is going to break in half...

If we have any news to report in the next couple of days we certainly will... I hope our wishes for our Christmas baby come true...

How do they seem to know??

Tonight while I was crying my eyes out, feeling like I truly can not take much more of this, Emma crawled up in my lap babbled some incoherent words and then hugged me...

Now we aren't talking some little hug that was over in 5 seconds! She stayed there for a long time... Occasionally patting me and saying mom-mom... Did she know that I really needed a hug at that point?? Are they really that perceptive???

I think I found yet another reason amongst the millions that I love my Emma.

In other news... Not to be disgusting... but I lost my mucus plug tonight... since then I have been having irregular painful contractions... we shall see... with Emma it was two weeks after the fact that she was born... Since nothing else has gone the same why would this?? Maybe we will have good news in the near future. I so wanted to have a little baby to hold for Christmas... I am afraid that isn't going to happen...

(Man I have been a blogging maniac this week! Must be that new cable internet!)

Look what I made!!

I am trying to keep myself busy and not think about myself NOT going into labor yet... So I am making booties... They are quick and easy... Not sure if I will use them... But when you are bored... You will do anything!!

Okay something really strange just happened...
We are in the middle of a big snow storm... I am sitting here at the desk and a HUGE thunder just sounded followed by another one... What is up with that?? Thunder and snow... that isn't supposed to go together!!

Well I am off to find some more things I can make with all this spare time I have on my hands... Someone remind me how I will be wishing for this time in a few weeks!

Such is my life!

Pete came home last night sicker than a dog... He has been fighting some kind of cold or virus for almost a week now... I guess last night was the last straw!

Due to his job... diesel mechanic.. he doesn't have a nice climate controlled place to work and so therefore has steadily gotten sicker with our subzero temps over the course of the week!

I said that to say this... Why????

Why would he get sick so close to D-day?? I don't want to leave my hubby behind while I run off to the hospital... especially since I don't want to be alone if Josiah does have problems... I am finding myself today hoping against hope the baby holds out now till Pete gets better... And also that Emma and I don't get sick... I am afraid that if Emma were to get this upper respiratory thing that it would send her into a bout of Croup... Please no! That was horrible last time! That is all I need! A baby in the hospital... a sick husband... and me in labor!

Pete just called me... It is official he has bronchitis... Doc sent him home with an antibiotic and a cough suppresent... Oh and the best part of all... He is contagious! Yippy skippy...

Nothing else to report on the baby front... Other than the usual contractions that kept waking me up last night... Come out Josiah... Come out... Anyone have any natural remedies for that?? Besides Castor Oil ( I am not fond of diarrhea!) or you know what (couldn't even if I wanted to!)????

Oh and I almost forgot.. sorry for that little blip with the template... I was trying things out yesterday and got interrupted! Everything is back to normal...

My somewhat good news...

I had an appointment today with my midwife...

Basically the same old stuff different day... Baby looks fine... I look fine... Well aside from the additional three pounds I have put on... Ugh!

So my good news... If for some reason I go past my due date she said that due to the situation with all my contractions and how uncomfortable I am she would induce me at 41 weeks not 42 which is the usual protocol...

Thanks... I guess....

Today I went out to try and walk this crazy baby out! Emma, Nana and I went to the mall and walked around for two hours... Then to Toy's R Us and then to Walmart... If I didn't succeed in putting myself into labor tonight I sure as hey made myself sore!!

Well it was worth the try I guess.

The Full Moon

I just found out that the next full moon is this Thursday the 15th...

Now while I have resigned myself that our little guy isn't going to come until January do you think that it really hurts to hope for labor to spark during the full moon???

Finally! Some Christmas pictures!

Ah... The long awaited tree pictures... Very nicely uploaded with our new cable internet... I must comment on how nice it is to be able to upload a picture in a matter of seconds... Sigh... I love my new internet...


Daddy laying in the snow cutting down the tree... At one point he yelled at me and Emma and told us it was coming our way... But I just laughed and said... Nope it is about to land on you!!
Me and Emma carrying the tree back to the trolley... Thank God you couldn't see how big I was in this picture!!
Here is Emma trying to put some decorations on the tree... It was so cute when she couldn't get them on... She would pout and then bring them to us...
Here is our finished product... Now there are presents under the tree... Amazingly enough Emma hasn't really bothered them yet! And we only have a week and half to go... so we will see!

So I just have to say... It is about time that our family got up with the times and got some highspeed internet! We ended up going with the cable... Steep prices... but nice when you spend most of your free time on the net!

Okay... so here is what I have decided... Josiah isn't coming until January... If he comes before then then I will be highly surprised and excited... But I am tired of getting my hopes up with every twinge.. So now... I am shooting to have the first New Year's Baby so I can be on TV and get free stuff!!! How fun would that be! Plus I am thinking maybe it would be better if he was born AFTER Christmas so his birthday won't be mixed in and forgotten about during the holidays...

This week is bad for us anyways... For the next few nights it is going to be in the single digits temperature wise... Tonight it will be ZERO... which for those of us out here away from the city means below zero...

37 weeks

I have officially made it to full term pregnancy...

So... because of this... and due to the fact that Emma was born at 37w5d I am becoming antsy to say the least...

I am extremely tired of being pregnant... I am tired of having contractions all the time... I am tired of Josiah grinding his head into my bones... I am tired of all of it... Oh yeah... I am also tired of the fact that I seem to not be able to empty my bladder anymore either... so I have that pain too!

But definitely most of all I am tired of the contractions... I have endured them longer this time... and I think I deserve a medal of some sort... whaddya think?? I am sick of having them strong hard and regular for two or three hours then mysteriously stop all together... It is getting to the point now where I would gladly welcome all the pitocin in the world to get them to stay around and do something...

Last night and this morning has been particularly hard... They have been stronger and more painful then they have ever been so far... I hope it is a sign.. cause if not I might just go crazy...

Anyways... on a lighter note... We will have cable internet as of tomorrow... We found out Friday that we can't have DSL here because we have old phone lines... Stinks! Cause now we got to pay for the dumb cable internet... which I might add isn't exactly cheap!! But I guess since we keep in contact this way we have no choice... Oh so to whom it may concern... we will be getting you all our new email address...

So in the next few days I should have those pics up of Emma and the Christmas tree... It will be nice to be able to do that in a matter of minutes!

Keep thinking baby thoughts!

Our last night out

Tonight was probably Pete and I's last night out for a long time... Come to think of it it was actually the first in a long time too!!

Anyways... We went to Garcia's for a late lunch... Both of us secretly hoping the mexican spices would send me into labor...

Then we went to see a late matinee... We chose Narnia... so I thought I would come on and tell everyone what I thought...

It was good... for a book made into a movie... but my opinion is that the symbolism that C.S Lewis was trying to get across was totally lost in the movie for the most part.

If I was an unbeliever I think that I would receive the message and understand what Lewis was trying to portray better through the book... I am not sure how an unbeliever would see the symbolism in the movie..

But all in it was a good way to spend a few hours... We will probably end up buying the movie...

No news yet on the other!

Tried and failed

Well I tried to upload some pictures again... but to no avail!!

Oh well...when we get cable internet here in a week or so I will be sure to get them up before Christmas... Come to think about it... It will be nicer to upload pictures of the new edition when he decides to show as well!!

Everyone think baby thoughts this weekend!!

What could this mean??

I woke this morning in extreme discomfort...

It would seem that the baby dropped sometime in the night... well that is the only thing that I can think anyways! And if that is the case I know exactly when it happened... 6am... I woke to a horrible pain and the sensation of him rolling his head around in my pelvis... it was terrible!! I had to get up to see if I could get him to move!

It now is very uncomfortable to sit for very long... I can no longer bend over... and if I move just right I get this shooting pain in my pubic bone and am rewarded with a miniature baby head twisiting around in my pelvis... Not to mention the constant urge to go to the bathroom... and not just pee...

Boy if I have to deal with this for the next three weeks I could become very cranky!!

Oh and also... tons of cramping today... Not necessarily contractions... although I still get those... but a crampy kind of period pain...

Oh well.. I have resigned myself to just assume he isn't coming till January... Hey.. New Year's baby would be nice... then we could be on tv and get free stuff!!

Christmas Pictures... and um... I guess some nesting...

Okay so I was going to post some pictures of Pete, myself and Emma hunting for Christmas trees and decorating it as well as the finished product... but either stupid blogger or my dumb connection won't let me do it!!!

Along the same lines though... I got some good news today... Our current internet provider is no longer going to provide dialup service... the bad part was that I was getting it for free... so now if we want internet we will have to pay someone! So... since it will cost us about $15 we are going to look into DSL... Highspeed dialup... The best part of all this is that it will no longer take FOREVER to upload pictures... pages... and email and stuff... I am actually kinda excited about it... even if we will have to put out some money...


Okay so on with the nesting part of my topic... Today I was sitting thinking about how much I wanted to clean... um... not like me at all.. I usually do it because it has to be done... not because I have any desire to do so..

This is what I got done....

• I made two loaves of pumpkin bread
• Six pounds of fudge
• Cleaned and vacuumed Emma's room
• Cleaned... top to bottom... the works... Emma's bathroom.
• Cleaned the living room... straightened everything up and vacuumed
• Cleaned the kitchen... we are talking dishes... counters... table... Disinfected every flat surface I could find... cleaned the stove... Put away a bunch of dishes and things we aren't using right now... then swept and mopped the floor.
• Three loads of laundry... which I am going to go fold after this....

So the only thing left that I want to do is...

• Clean our bedroom... top to bottom...
• Clean our bathrrom... top to bottom...
• Change our sheets... ( I want to have clean pillow cases on the pillows I take to the hospital!
• Pack my bag...

I am kinda hoping to get it done tonight... but I am not sure how that is going to go since it is ten after 8... Although if I have enough gumption I could always stay up till midnight to finish it...

So that is the news on this end... and trust me everyone... if there was a baby... you would know about it!!!

Edited to add.... Um... 9:45pm... finished the list... boy am I pooped... I just pray Emma sleeps tonight so I can get some rest...

Just another day in paradise

Well I made it another day... Although I know everyone thinks I am actually in the hospital right now... Such is not the case.

I stopped contracting... UGH!! As annoying as it was I would have liked it to continue so that maybe this crazy baby would come out!

I did have a bout of contractions this afternoon. But they amounted to nothing... I am currently contracting again as of about an hour ago... We shall see..

My mom says he has to be born tomorrow... it is her birthday! Happy Birthday Mom...but I don't think you will be getting your birthday wish... sorry!

Today a lady from church... a friend... came at around 7am to watch Emma while hubby and I got some much needed rest. She then stayed all day and let me take a nap... Heavenly!!

As I was laying in my bed this afternoon this thought came to me... This is probably the first time ever in all of Emma's life that I have been given a break... at my house... where I can enjoy my bed! Sure she has been to grandma's a couple of times and Pete and I have been on dates... but how nice was it to be able to have someone come and watch Emma without any of us having to leave?

I need to get this off my chest as well... So that hopefully when I get baby fever in a year I can come back and read it... I hate being pregnant... To me it is a means to an end... Pregnancy and Bekah DO NOT get along... My back problem is ten times worse during pregnancy... my uterus thinks she is too good to carry human life... and my head is convinced it is okay to continue to create massive migraines in the face of no medication...
I am sooooo discouraged right now... I could punch things.. but what would that solve... all I want to do is curl up and cry my eyes out... Even though I know that they is a light at the end of the tunnel I am failing to see it... I bite everyone's head off... I basically feel VERY depressed and I am just plain sick of people asking me how I feel... How do you think I feel people??? Don't you have something better to ask me!?? The one thing that keeps me going are the few people that continually encourage me and gently remind me that I can do this and it is almost over... I just keep thinking about the baby... the reward... although in this case I am afraid to get my hopes up... When we were told in August that Josiah had a cyst on his brain I have been worried about it since... I do have some peace that he will be okay... but there is this other part of me that is getting very scared as we get closer to due date... The cyst can indicate Trysomy 18... A deadly defect... most babies die within hours of birth... The neonatologist doesn't seem worried... although it is his job to give all the gory details and possibilities... My midwife doesn't seem worried although it is her job to not say one way or the other!! I can only hope that a few months from now I will look into the smiling face of my son and realize that he made it! That God created him just they He wanted him to be...

Oh I almost forgot... to top off all this nastiness with myself Emma seems to be coming down with a cold... Fun!!!

I am with Jamie on this one... Come to the light Josiah... the bright light!!

The verdict

Well after a bad weekend of contractions and two nights of no sleep I decided to give in and call the midwife. I started contracting Saturday night and by Sunday morning they were ten minutes apart. All day long this went on. Then last night at about 1 am they started to get closer together... until they ended up being 4 minutes apart and very painful... I tried all kinds of positions... Nothing worked... they finally spaced out enough that I ended up with about 3-4 hours of sleep.

So I had to go in to get checked today according to the midwife. When I got there I was in a definite contraction pattern that was noted on my chart... The nurse checked me...

Here is the results...




I am 1 (count it people) 1 cm dilated... disturbing considering the amount of pain I was in... the good news is that I am 50% effaced which means my cervix is halfway thinned out... Good thing considering a week ago I wasn't effaced at all..


So after a bawl fest in which I smeared all my makeup and made myself look like the the swamp thing I bucked up and decided not to concentrate on the one centimeter but on the 50% effacement and the fact that the nurse said I could very well be in pre labor that could take a few days to become active...

So anywho.... everyone root for Wednesday... it is my mom's birthday and she thinks Josiah should share it as well!

Pray for some shut eye for me as well... I could use it.

Someone please just shoot me....

Allright... I know what you guys are all thinking... Great... more boring reading about poor little old Bekah's contractions... Click... Think I will move on now...

But seriously now... I need someone to vent too!

I am trying soooo hard to stay positive right now... but with every day that goes by and I still don't have anything to show for all these stinkin' contractions I just want to... well I don't really know what I want to do...

Last night was horrible... everytime I woke up I was in the middle of a really bad contraction... so therefore I would have no control and couldn't relax... Then here is the worse part... This morning Pete and I were up at about 8. I started to get the contractions about 3-6 minutes apart... So painful that I would have to literally stop whatever I was doing and concentrate on relaxing and breathing. And if anyone tried to talk to me I wouldn't answer... The went on like this for about two hours... Getting worse with every one... I was SURE this was going to be the day... I even called my mom (wait... that is what made it stop!) Then at about 10... NOTHING...

Why??? I just don't understand why I have to go through this... it just isn't fair... everyone else I know that has babies... just has them... No big deal. Why can't I be this way?? I just sit and cry when I think about it... And what makes it so bad this time is that if he isn't born earlier than Emma then I will have gone through it much longer and be all the more tired at the end. Like I am down before I even start.

I starting to really believe that I am going to go all the way to my due date. I know I shouldn't complain as I am not really even close to my due date... Four weeks... but I just can't take much more of this... I am becoming sleep deprived... my attitude stinks... and I just don't want to be around anyone anymore...

They say that no two pregnancies or labors are alike... I can deal with that... But it is becoming very hard to not say.. hey... at this point with Emma I was almost done ( I didn't know it! but I was!) Because who is to say that he won't decided to show up 4 weeks from now?? On Monday I will be 36 weeks... And within a week and a few days of when Emma showed up... Do you think that the old wives tale that the second baby comes sooner is true?? Cause I am beginning to think NOT...


My only hope now is that those HORRIBLE contractions from this morning will grace us with their presence later on today and stay... wouldn't it be just convenient too with it being the weekend and all???

Guess I should update

I guess I forget that being pregnant and close to my due date will cause people to wonder if I don't blog on a regular basis!

Sorry everyone!

Well the contractions continue... Pete and I thought that it might be labor on Monday when I contracted most of the evening. They were painful, 6-8 minutes apart and 45-60 seconds long... Techinically the time that you would THINK you were in labor... But did they continue??? NOPE!

Then on Tuesday and Wednesday I had them on and off for most the day and night. But nothing to write home to mom about so... I just shrugged them off and figured that my lovely body (who hates being pregnant) is just playing tricks on me as usual....

But then last night it started again... In the middle of the night... Ugh... Why is it always in the middle of the night. And to top it off this time, I can't stop peeing... What is that?? Like every ten to fifteen minutes I am in the bathroom... Also this immense pressure on my pelvis... I am beginning to wonder if I have a bladder infection. Hm...

It will do me no good to sit here and analyze everything and wonder if I will ever go into REAL labor... So here I sit. Looking at my daily blog rounds. Checking email... and waiting for Christmas... seriously believeing this little monkey isn't going to grace mommy and daddy with a tax deduction for 2005....

Oh... and soon... I hope... I have some pics of Emma that I need to share. They are from our trip to the tree farm this past Saturday and then helping decorate the tree... Very cute!

Everyone thing labor thoughts please!

I made it!!

Today the midwife gave the green light so to speak!! She said I am officially 35 weeks and can have my baby anytime now with her blessing! And I won't have to go to the big city hospital.... The countdown is on... Emma was born at 37 weeks...

I am trying to stay optimistc... but why do I have a bad feeling he will be born late???

Oh... I was also thinking how nice it would be to go into labor tonight with Pete home and Emma at my parents.... Life could only be so good!

When it rains it pours!

Saturday night I got up around 3 in the morning to... you guessed it... go to the bathroom!! When I got back to bed I asked Pete to go out to the living room to get my migraine medicine. When he stepped on the floor he screeched and said... Ewww I think that dog peed on the carpet...

I was like... um... okay... so he got down with a towel and that is when he realized that the carpet was wet a huge area. The whole walk way by the door, under the bed and in the closet. So we proceeded to try and figure out what could have gone wrong! First we though the frig... it is on the other side of the bedroom wall. But nope it wasn't that! Then we thought maybe the pipe had come undone from the washer in the hall by the bedroom... Nope not that either... Then it dawned on Pete... The hot water heater is in our closet. So he said a few choice words and went flying out the backdoor ( the shutoff valve for our water is out there) only to find water POURING out from under the house. He shut off the water and we thought.... great!!...

It turns out that pressure was somehow building up in the pipes that connect to the outgoing water and the water heater. The fitting had blown and we had no idea how long it had been like that!

Pete fixed it Sunday and for 8 hours it held. We had just gotten into bed and were almost asleep when we heard a boom and tons of rushing water... It blew again!! Another night of no sleep!! ( for Pete anyhow. He worried while I slept a little)

This morning Pete went to the park maintenance man who came in and fixed it free of charge for us. He used a different fitting and so far so good! But Pete stayed home anyways to make sure it wouldn't blow while I was alone.

The good part in all this is that Emma spent the night with my parents and Pete and I were able to spend the evening together alone which was nice since tomorrow is our anniversary!!!

So the pouring of the rain comes in because we also have to have the brakes and rotors repaired in the van before we can have it inspected by the end of the month... Good thing that Pete is a mechanic!!!

Changes!

So I was getting really bored with that gray color on my last template... Kinda depressing... So I switched to this one... Don't know if it is any better though.

Oh and I also decided I needed to add a ticker to help remind me that IT is almost over!!

We made a little trip to the hospital this morning... again. This time I was feeling lots of yuck and wet down there and TONS of pressure with every contraction that I have.

So when I got there they checked to see if I was leaking fluid.... NOPE! And she didn't seem all that concerned about the pressure since my cervix was still closed. But! She said that it could definitely be the cause of the horrendous hemorrhoids that have moved in down south which may I add are totally uncomfortable, painful and torturous?... At any rate... The baby's heartrate was kinda fast so they wanted me to stay and be watched for a little while. They tanked me up with some fluids and watched my contractions and then deemed me able to go home.

I only have one complaint.... The nurse asked me what I was having... I said a boy. So she says awww... the million dollar family!... I answer, Yup I am done, it is apparent to me my body doesn't like to be pregnant!

Here it is... sit down... the rudeness is about to come... Ready??

She answers "Well, a little more time between babies would probably have done the trick!"

WHAT????? How rude is that?? Is it any of her business how close my children are?? Besides all that, Emma was 11 months old when I got pregnant... she should concentrate that statement on women who find themselves with child again before their six week checkup (not that that is a problem in my eyes either!)... Someone should tell that lady to SHUT UP! And besides all that if it had anything to do with the spacing of the kids then I wouldn't have had this same exact problem with Emma.

Okay I am done ranting about it.

Thanksgiving was very nice! We played games and food and watched the snow come down outside! Here is the only problem as far as I could see... Being pregnant during the holidays stinks! You can't fit as much pie in there as your little heart desires!!

Cloth Diapers, Ebay, and Thanksgiving....

I have been cloth diapering Emma for a week now. It is actually going great! We still use disposables at night because lazy me hasn't finished her wool soaker!! We also used disposables on Sunday because the little skirt she wore would have never fit over a cloth diaper. As for tomorrow I am pretty sure I am going to cart all the cloth diapering paraphanelia over to grandma's. We will give it a whirl somewhere besides home.

So Jamie encouraged me to go on eBay the other day to check out cloth diapers and such... Can I just say... FUN!!! I got a really good deal on 4 AIO's (all in one, no diaper cover needed) and a small wool cover with a monkey on the butt for Josiah! The best part about the AIO's is they are supposed to be one size fits all... so they fit birth to potty. If I like them on Emma, then I plan to buy a bunch more and the two kids can share them. They would be VERY convenient for going out, going to church, and for daddy to changer dipes!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the good ole US... Pete, the baby(for not much longer!) and I will be going to my grandma's for dinner. We are excited about spending time with family. On this past Monday my mom and I spent all day cooking for Thanksgiving. We made an apple pie, pecan pie, cherry pie, and pumpkin pie. Also some homemade french bread and sugar cookies. Then today I stuck some miniature cheesecakes in the oven so that we could have those to snack on as well.

It promises to be a fun day... Grandpa has to work till 3.... bummer! But someone has to run the Y on the holidays too I guess. But he has informed us he plans on being sociable and playing a game this year.... his words! So we are packing a bunch of those into the car as well tomorrow morning.

Speaking of morning... the commute should be right nice due to the fact they are expecting four inches of snow by morning... Lovely!

Hey at least Emma will get to wear her new boots!!

Oh yeah almost forgot.... news on the baby front.... Same old same old... contractions most the night but I was able to get some sleep... I have been feeling some flu like symptoms the past two days.. nausea and diarrhea.... hope it is nothing!

Woohoo!!!!!

I made it one more week!!! Today I am officially 34 weeks. Only one more week left to go till we are in the safe zone for prematurity!!!

I am still getting contractions. Some days are better than others. Night time is usually pretty bad for me. Just like it was with Emma.

For the most part they are just tightenings during the day. But at night... well that is when they get bad. Last night I was up for two hours with them. I would just doze off between them and I would get another worse than the last that would wake me right up. I just breath through them and it seems to get me through.

Today I was talking to Pete and I said "Hey! Since all these contractions started two weeks earlier than they did with Emma, if they follow the same pattern then there is a good possibility that we could have a baby by the end of NEXT week!" (Don't worry... my hopes are no where near up!)

He looked at me, shook his head and said... "Boy that makes it finally sink in, doesn't it?"

Uh... dear?? Just to let you know... We are having a baby.

Letting Everyone Know

The contractions have subsided enough for me to NOT worry about them... Still there but not painful...

We are still betting on an early December baby instead of late December early January... Anyone else want to venture a guess???

Dec 12 will put me at the mark where I was when I went into labor with Emma... but since the nonsense started up two weeks earlier with Josiah we are wondering if he won't just make his debut two weeks earlier than Emma did... BUT! No one knows that but God... and Josiah!

Just you wait and see I'll still be luggin' this belly around on New Year's!

I knew it!!!

I don't usually blog about the news... But this I couldn't pass up...

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Health/story?id=1317690

I knew that I was right! Tonight on the news I heard Dr. Ferber himself say that his method of putting a child to sleep is not always the right way...

So when the nurse at our pediatrician's told me to go home over the weekend and let her cry it out till she fell asleep, and I thought HOW BARBARIC! I was RIGHT!

Oh and this is good....

"Actually, there is no change, I think that's a misconception," said Ferber, the director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at the Children's Hospital in Boston. "Our approach has always been one of compassion."

Yeah... whatever... Compassion... Riiiight... So we let our kids scream till they are scared crapless thinking that we are never going to come and get them if they need us!!! I am sorry.... But I find it very hard to believe that a child under the age of one has this going through their mind... "Hmm... if I cry just a bit longer I KNOW she will come get me... hehehhe.... Just like I planned...."

Okay I am done now.

Labor??? Or not???

Well here is the second soaker that I finished... The picture isn't very good. But this time I knitted on the cuffs to make them rolled. The next one I make is going to have that cream colored waistband with that blue verigated body, cream colored cuffs and a verigated blue tie.

Back to our regularly scheduled post.

I coulda swore I was in labor last night. In fact if it had been closer to my due date I probably would have packed it up and went to the hospital.

I started to get uncomfortable contractions at around 8:45 last night. They were about 8-10 minutes apart. By two in the morning the pain was keeping me awake and they had gotten closer... 4-6 minutes apart. At this point I couldn't sleep anymore. Since I am only 33 weeks I just laid there and prayed that God would give Josiah at least two more weeks of development. Especially if he does have a problem (the cyst) then at least then he would have a better fighting chance.

At any rate. By the time morning came they had finally died down to a dull roar and I was able to just breath through them and then they stopped. Problem is that now around lunch time today they started back in again. Now they are 7 minutes apart and I feel pressure with them. They don't really hurt though.... I don't know what I should do. Seeing as how my midwife is on vacation... the one I spoke with on Monday said.. well they are just Braxton Hicks... Ignore them... At what point do I stop ignoring and start worrying????

As much as I want to see Josiah and hold him in my arms I want to wait at least TWO MORE WEEKS....

Updates

I had an appointment with the midwife yesterday. ( Not MY midwife... she is on vacation... but that is a different story!)

Anywho! I am staying steady with the weight gain... Thank God! I didn't gain anything the past two weeks... which was fine since I had that nice 9 pound weight gain a month or so back...

The baby's heartrate was in the 150's... Uh... Josiah.. are you sure those were boy parts we saw in there????

And my belly is measuring right where it should be for 33 weeks.... So unfortunately there is no chance that just maybe by some stroke of luck I was farther along.... Oh well..

And then after last weeks incident at the hospital, the midwife proceeded to tell the little baby to stay in there for at least two more weeks so that he could be born at our hospital.

Anyways.. here is the story with the midwives...

The one that I see is an old coworker from when I used to work in the maternity ward at Samaritan hospital. So we knew each other. At any rate she "specialed" me for Emma's birth. Which means that she came in for the birth even though she wasn't on call that night. So she plans on doing the same for Josiah.... Here lies the problem... As long as I am not truely in labor the other midwives have to attend me till it is determined that I am in active labor. I think that one of the midwives has a problem wit that. Well when I went to the office I had to see the other midwife because mine is on vacation. She was very short with me and did only what was necessary for the appointment then told me that when I was do to come back Michelle would be back from vacation....

I told her... hey.. it is okay that I had to see you today... It didn't bother me... She kind of looked at me with a weird look and said... Well I thought you WANTED Michelle. To which I answered I do and walked away... How weird is that??? So know I am thinking that maybe I should tell Michelle this so that she is aware that maybe Margaret is kind of miffed that I don't want to see her..... Sigh... I can't wait till all this is over....

We are shooting to make it to 35 weeks. That is the Tuesday after Thanksgiving... Anytime after that he is more than welcome to come and greet the world! Hopeing for a Christmas baby....

Wool Soakers

So I knitted my first wool soaker... but it isn't wool it is just plain old acrylic yarn. I heard somewhere that you can use acrylic but it wouldn't be leak proof for a whole entire night. I used this pattern... I used size 7 circular needles and then size 7 dpns. I never checked my guage.. I sorta just wung it! But the best part is that my homemade cloth diapers fit perfectly in the cover!

I followed the directions to the tee except for the cuffs... I just used three rows of single crochet stitching in the back loop of the stitch.

I ended up finding some wool yarn at AC Moore, a local craft store. So I picked up two skeins of Lionbrand Wool. And then some cool stuff handspun in Chile. I can't wait to use it. When I have those knitted or crocheted up I will share!

Cloth Diapers and weird pregnancy dreams

So I decided that I would sew my own cloth diapers to save even more money than I would by just purchasing them off the internet. The fun part was trying to make a pattern with some paper without buying a pattern. My mom and I worked for an hour and made two prototypes before we agreed on a good size for a newborn. My mom sewed while I cut the material.

For the outer layer we used flannel from Walmart that cost $2.57 a yard. For the outer layer that will touch Josiah's butt we used fleece (a natural wicking agent!) that was the same price. Then for the inside layers inside the diaper we used two layers of an ugly flannel that I got for $1 a yard. And the soaker pad is made out of washclothes folded in thirds. They were 18 for $4. All in all I am going to get about two dozen diapers for $40. They will last for a few months. If we bought disposables for three months it would cost about $240! So yippy!! We saved tons of money. Then when the baby is a couple of months old I will make some more only bigger. They have to be used with diaper covers. I had already had those from Emma so that worked out great!

After doing so much research on the net about cloth diapers and seeing how much they cost I had about given up on using anything other than the good old square cloth diapers that you buy at the store. Then when I saw this pattern on the internet due to my friend Jamie I became excited with the possiblity of being able to make them on my own. It worked great and I plan on making them for the whole time for Josiah. I believe that it will be easier for potty training. I really should make some for Emma as well and just be done with it! But I hate to put the money into it when I am almost done with her! Especially since we have two mega huge boxes of diapers in the closet for her!

The last thing that I want to do is make some wool soaker covers. I found this on the net yesterday and plan on trying it as soon as I can find some "real" wool yarn. I can't get that at Walmart. So it may not pay for me to make them. If that is the case I may just buy some fleece covers off the web and call it good. They run about 15 dollars a piece. But you only need one a night.




Okay moving on....

I am thinking that I may be strange. But has anyone ever had a toilet dream??? I have them all the time. And probably more so now since I am pregnant and have to pee all night!

In my dreams I usually have to go really bad!! But when I finally find the toilet it is out in the open. No stall doors. Or maybe there are doors but there aren't any walls between the stalls. Sometimes there are walls but they aren't tall enough. And then sometimes it is just like one big huge communal bathroom with a whole bunch of toilets just sitting out in the open. And it seems like I am the only one that cares that there is no privacy! Everyone else just goes about their business like there is no problem at all!

My personal favorite (but only for the humor!) is when I finally find these toilets all out in the open like that they are all usually full from the last user. You know! Kinda like when you go to Walmart and skip over three or four stalls till you find one with clean water in it!

Anyways.... I am guessing that you are all going to think I am just about the wierdest person in the world. But these are my toilet dreams! Come on... someone please tell me I am not alone in all this!

Enough Already!!!

Man.... I had hoped against all hope that this pregnancy was going to be different than the last one....

Nope!

All weekend I had painful contractions that really annoyed me and made me uncomfortable... Now I am only 32 weeks today. (That would mean I would be 8 weeks early for those of you that don't know the week breakdown of a pregnancy!) So I decided to call the office today. They made me come in to Labor and Delivery so that they could watch for a bit.

Don't you know that as soon as I walked through the doors of the hospital the contractions stopped?? Isn't that always how it works???

Anyways.... the point I am trying to make...

During my pregnancy with Emma I had started to have contractions about 33 weeks but they were painless. But the problem was that towards the end when they did start to hurt (about two weeks before her birth) I never really knew when I was in labor! I had so been hoping that this go around I would never have a painful contraction before labor so that I would feel the first one and say HEY!! I must be in labor....

After watching me for a little while they decided it wasn't labor and that the baby was okay.. and of course good news... my cervix is long thick and closed... So no dilation... Hope that means the baby will stay put for at least three more weeks so I can deliver at my hospital instead of the medical center in the city. If I can get to 35 weeks they won't really consider him a preemie... Since Emma was born at 37 weeks I am hoping he is going to come early as well... All the signs seem to pointing in that direction... What with everything going exactly as it did before only a week or two sooner... Hey I wonder if that means he will be born earlier than Emma??

I guess now I am just going to hope that my water breaks as a sure sign... *Sigh* I just wish I could have a normal pregnancy....

Oh the bliss....

Emma is completely off bottles now... I wanted to have a break with the washing and what not before Josiah came! So yesterday we had a little party... We got all of Emma's bottles together and let her throw them away in the trash... Then we all clapped our hands and said Yah!!!!

Now since we did that she goes to sleep without even crying... I think that the fact that she visually saw them go in the trash really helped... I am sooooo happy that she is off the bottle... Next hurtle?? Potty training... but I think that is going to wait until spring when she turns two... I don't have the energy right now to deal with that.... Not to mention I probably should get her into a big girl bed before we do that.

The nesting bug is really biting me... I never really did that with Emma but this go around it is really driving me batty... I am having to have things in all the right places and I want it done NOW! Not yesterday.... I FINALLY hung the pictures and quilt up next to Josiah's bed and we got the glider rocker in next to it. I want to get a nursing stool to put my feet up... Then I need to plug the pretty nightlight in on the little table... I want to finish organizing all of his clothes... I still need another little set of drawers or some under the bed storage for the rest of his stuff.... Space is limited here in the our bathroom...(Don't ask!! Those of you who know our house understand....)

We still have a list of stuff that we need to buy for the baby and we are not able to right now so of course that is driving me batty as well!!! Part of having the baby is the fun of getting everything ready and since we are short financially we can't do what I would like to do.... argh... the frustration...

Well maybe I will go and put my feet up for a little while and try to forget about it for a couple hours... I have plenty of time to worry about it tomorrow!

The Countdown Continues

I am now 31 weeks... Only 62 days to go till D-day.... Went to my midwife appointment yesterday.... Good news... I only gained two pounds in two weeks!!! Whew... Thank goodness!!! The baby was definitely head down! And she estimates him at around 3 pounds or so.... The bad news... I won't be able to see my wonderful midwife in two weeks cause she won't be there! So I have to settle for the other one.... I won't see Michelle again until 35 weeks for the dreaded Group B strep swab.... Then hopefully we will be on the home stretch by then...

Another fun thing happened today.... Our childbirth education lady who is also a doula has agreed to be OUR doula for free.... We are excited. But the condition was that we had to kinda understand that she may not be able to make it because her and her husband's second car is out of commission.... If this turned out to be the case she would "doula us" over the phone...
She has no qualms about it being Christmas time when I am due... And to make everything just perfect she is a born again Christian! So none of that earthy weird stuff....

Oh and I almost forgot....

I am enjoying the nice weather Buuuuttttt.... It woke up all the wasps and hornets around our house... So today when Emma and I were waving bye bye to Nana I got stung on my back by a wasp or hornet... not sure cause I didn't see it..... Man did that HURT!!! Still does in fact! How can something so small and easily crushed create such havoc! I was crying when it happened... mom was looking for a stinger and Emma was crying cause mommy was crying.... Oh welll.... Wasn't as bad as labor though! Which we will be experiencing the joys of again in short time.

Call the presses!!!!!

Emma went to sleep in less then ten minutes.... Now that is nothing new... here is the best part....

It was by herself.... (like normal)... with NO BOTTLE!!!!!!

(I should have tried this sooner!!!)

Whew!! (Housecleaning and christmas spirit)

It took me two whole days, a lot of backache, and a million contractions... but I finally finished cleaning the whole house!!! I so proud of myself. I had the energy and decided to just get up and do it. I haven't been able to in weeks, or months. Everytime I would start cleaning and get too active the contractions would get too bad... So finally I sat there and thought hmm... last time I was pregnant I would clean straight through the contractions and nothing bad ever happened. So I just got up and did it...

Course if I post about a new baby in a couple of weeks I will know that I probably should have taken it easy! It would seem that the nesting has finally set in for good. All the cleaning and cooking I have been doing this week, not to mention getting the baby stuff ready. Today I plan on hanging the pictures above his crib. Been meaning to do that! I am going to start getting all the cloth diapers ready and set to go. I have decided to use cloth this go around to save money but I will still be using disposables at night till the night time feedings decrease, and I am able to afford the all in ones that don't leak at all! If anyone cares to buy Josiah a present the all in one's cost $14.95 a piece... wink wink.... I know, I know, it is a little steep but you only need four or five of them....

Well I finally found a Christmas Tree Farm around here so we can go and cut a tree down this year. I am so excited because I have never had a real tree. Pete finally agreed to it since he doesn't want to find a place to store a fake tree. So on the Saturday after Thanksgiving we are going to bundle up and take Emma out to get a tree. The farm that I found takes you out on a trolley into the woods where they have planted all the trees. When you get there they let you loose with a saw and a cart to haul it back to the trolley with. Then you ride the trolley back to the main area where the "shake" the tree free of loose needles, bale it up for you and then put it on your car. Then after all that they give you a mug of hot chocolate and a candy cane! How cute is that???

We are planning on making this our family tradition so we will be doing this in the morning (November 26th) towards lunch then heading home to turn on the music and decorate. Hopefully we will have a couple presents already wrapped so we can get those under there and make it look more festive. It's going to be fun keeping Emma away from the tree and presents!

We are planning to have the shopping and decorating done by that weekend since we don't know when Josiah will be gracing us with his presence. If he is like his sister it will be way before Christmas and we don't want to be shopping with a newborn. Speaking of.... Josiah... if you can hear me... Again I repeat come soon... preferably maybe the third week in December????

For your viewing pleasure

Well I guess it would be for those who don't mind seeing my naked belly and those who are wondering how big I am... Sorry for the quality of the picture... It is the best that I can do without Pete! I am 30 weeks and two days in this picture.

If you can tell.... I have a small stretch mark right near the point where my stomach and hip meet... I was kinda hoping to pass by unscathed like I did with Emma... But I don't think that that is going to happen... I guess when you hit your all time weight high you kinda tend to stretch in places! I can't wear my wedding ring anymore... that never happened with Emma... Makes me sad!

Josiah is killing me!! Carrying a boy is definitely different then carrying a girl... His favorite past time is ramming his little head down into my right hip and elsewhere.... while also stretching and kicking his feet into my left rib or sternum... Feels great!! Then of course there is the fact that he NEVER sleeps! Or if he is sleeping then he moves in his sleep.... Help me someone... I think I may have been taken over by a little alien!!!


Josiah if you can hear me... come soon... very soon... (well when you are done cookin'!!)

Woe is me

Well... it seem that the contractions that I was plagued with the entire third trimester with Emma have finally found their way home to me again.

The painful contractions started on Sunday. I just try to be careful about how much I do and when I notice that they begin to get regular than I slow down! I was kind of hoping that I would escape this but such is not the case.

My one consolation is that I am getting closer to the point when in this pregnancy where Emma was born last time. Seven more weeks and I will be 37 weeks and then I am going to start counting the days. I have made that my small goal to acheive. It sounds a lot better than ten weeks.

I have decided to give up on my knitted poncho.... Maybe after Josiah is born I will have the gumption to pick it back up again. Instead I think that I will make a shawl. My friend Jamie just finished this one and it looks pretty. Hopefully I will have enough yarn to make it.

In the mean time a nice lady at church has given me a buttondown shawl to wear. It is pretty warm when I wear two layers under it. I am currently enjoying it until I make one of my own.

I better get cracking!

Oh NO!

I had an appointment today with my midwife.

The good news first!
My blood pressure is great. My sugar is fine, don't have to worry about diabetes, and the baby sounds great!

The bad news
I gained 9 pounds in the last month. What is up with that???

Out of Emma's mouth!

Emma knows that there is a baby in mommy's belly she often points to my belly, pats it and says baby.

Today Emma came up to me and pulled on my pants...

I looked down and asked her what??

She pointed to her belly and said:


"Mommy.... Baby!"


I almost peed my pants laughing!!!

Life as I know it... (aka family updates)

Well this headache that I have had for two weeks is still going strong. I call the doctor's office about twice a week and tell them about it... hoping it isn't my blood pressure. They continue to reassure me that it isn't. Today my midwife called in a prescription for pain meds to take at night... She says they are okay to take when pregnant. I trust her. But I had hoped not to get to that point.

Then yesterday to top it all off I had to take that glucose tolerance test where you drink that nasty orange carbonated beverage then have your blood drawn an hour later... I uh had a little reaction to it to say the least. The room was spinning and I had all I could do to sit in a chair... I got through it okay then went down to the doctor's office only to find out that my midwife was upstairs in the middle of a delivery and I had to reschedule my appointment! I was so bummed. When you are pregnant you LIVE for those appointments!! But at any rate I will get to go in on Monday and FINALLY have my blood pressure checked.

Today I went to have my eyes checked... THANK GOD that my prescription hadn't changed enough to warrant new glasses so that saved us about $150!! But at least we ruled out my eyes as the cause of the headaches.

The baby continues to keep me awake at night and seems to have found a new comfy home under my ribcage! FUN FUN! We are very anxious to meet our Josiah though and pray every day for his safety and for the cyst to be gone at our next ultrasound.

We are starting our childbirth education classes next Tuesday... I am really excited because she is a born again Christian and incoporates God and the bible into her classes. I am hoping that I get through this labor easier and faster with her tuterage!

Pete is not getting such good hours at work lately. Although it comes and goes so we just roll with the punches. Other than that he can't complain about work.

Well I think that about sums up our life at this moment in the year!

A conversation with Emma

Today Emma and I were sitting in the rocking chair talking about baba's. Although I must admit that it was pretty much onesided!

"Emma don't you know that big sisters aren't supposed to drink baba's"

"Nooo"

"Well they don't! Maybe we should throw the baba in the trash?"

"Noo"

"Why not? Don't you want to be a big sister??"

"Noo"

"You mean you don't want a baby brother??"

"Noooo"


Will she ever learn how to say yes?

Please remind me

Dear Lord,

Would it be possible to remind me sometime in the future how much I suffered through my pregnancies???

When I suddenly become riddled with baby fever could You remind of me of the sleepless nights I experienced while pregnant?? Could You remind of the eternal back pain?? How it never went away and when I got up at night to answer yet another call of nature I would sometimes almost fall on the floor because my lower back could no longer support me??

Would it be okay if You could just gently whisper in my ear how I stayed up at night sometimes with heartburn to the point that I was sure I was going to die a slow agonizing death?? And how it didn’t seem to matter what I ate??

Would You remind me of my daughter’s four day labor marathon that ended with 2 and half hours of hellish pushing?? Only to find out that the problems all came from a "sunny side up" face and a diagonally positioned head?? And when the time comes, if it becomes necessary, remind me of me of my son’s magical entrance into the world???

In the future when I see a baby or hold one could You remind me that I already went through that?? And that I am now back into the blissful days where I can sleep at night?? And maybe even take my eyes off of my grown children for a moment long enough to find a bathroom??

And when I hold that baby and think about how nice it would be to have "JUST ONE MORE", remind me that I already used that excuse??

Please, sometime in the future remind me of how sure I was that I only wanted two children, a boy and girl, and while You are at it could You remind me, that is exactly what You blessed me with???

I say all this because Dear Lord, I am still not sure that I want to quit after this one even though at times lately I just wish someone would take me out behind the barn and shoot me!!

Give me peace with the two beautiful children that You have given me (I hope Josiah is beautiful!). Remind me that life isn’t just about babyhood! I still have toddler-hood, child-hood, and those wonderful teenage years ahead....

Oh and yeah.. One more thing.. Remind me that someday I will be a grandma! Babies without the pain of pregnancy, labor and delivery!!!!!

Amen

Fall is in the air!!!!

Finally!!!! I have waiting so long for the hot weather to disappear... Last night the weather man said, "Take a good look at this map, it won't look like this again till May!" He was referring to the 70 and 80 degree reading on the map. I was so HAPPY when he said that!

Now we are finally going to get the nice temps of fall. Although I believe that it is going to come in like a vengeance and just turn into to winter right away... that is okay though, the sooner Christmas comes then the sooner Josiah will be here!

I walked outside today, (it was still a little warm!) and looked around at the trees... they have finally started to change colors. Took long enough! Guess I shouldn't complain though because soon the trees will be bare and it will look bleak and gray and that seasonal depression will kick in...

Actually I was thinking about all the nice fall and winter things that I get to do soon! Like wear wool socks with my clogs, wear turtle necks and sweaters, and see my breath when I go outside. Oh and my favorite, that weird smell in the air, is it the cold, wood smoke or snow??? Who knows but everyone you ask knows the smell and loves it. While thinking about the fall today I thought of my friend Jamie who loves the fall too! Are you enjoying it as much as me??

It is supposed to rain for the next four days... I had forgotten about that part of fall... Oh well soon it will be snow!!!

Knitting, babies and pregnancy.

Well my poncho is not turning out so good! I was doing really well until I got to this one mock granny stitch that totally confused me! Now I have so many stitches on my needle that it is more than what I ever even started with!! Which I don't think was the idea... Hopefully the lady at church that knits will be able to help me.... Bums me out though I really wanted to wear it on Sunday... Maybe if I get enough gumption I will try and look at it again later tonight and see what I can see....

Well here is a picture of Emma. This morning she emptied her laundry basket so that she could play with it! I caught her walking around with it on her head! She is so cute.... Here is another cute picture of Emma. She is wearing the scarf that I knitted her.


She always manages to cheer me up on bad days!

She cracked me up this morning... I said hey Emma are you being bad??? And she says... Nooooo!!!! Right in the middle of touching something she shouldn't!

Then later she emptied her laundry basket just so she could play in it.... I caught her in the kitchen and had to take a picture of it!


I am not sleeping at night... It could be my back... it hurts!!! Or maybe it is the fact that everytime I wake up (which just happens to be every 45 minutes) Josiah decides to have a party in there and do jigs on my bladder! Hey kiddo, need I remind you that you are a guest in there?? What gets me is that I am supposed to be resting at this point and trying not to overdo! Yeah okay let me just tell my body and the foreigner in there that we have to sleep now... LEAVE ME ALONE!!

Oh and let's not forget that the dreaded contractions I had with Emma for ten weeks have started up again with Josiah. What a girl woudn't give for a normal pregnancy. Last night they were pretty regular all night long. Anywhere between 5 to 10 minutes apart. I debated calling the midwife on call. But it wouldn't have done any good! Pete was at work till 3AM and Emma is not a force to be contended with when woken! So I just bade my time and figured I would call if they were still around in the morning. Which of course they weren't! Same thing that happened with Em! Keep me up all night then disappear in the morning.

At any rate. Soon the baby will be here and instead of being woken every hour to pee I will be woken every couple of hours to feed. Not so bad considering I might get longer stretches of sleep then!

Sheer boredom!

I hate the fact that when Emma is sleeping I can't do anything that makes noise! We live in such a small house that I have to be careful if I don't want a cranky child on my hands! I hope that Josiah will be used to noise and I won't have problems with him!

Well I started a new knitting project. I am making this. The website called it the Martha Stewart Coming home Poncho... whatever!! I saw it and thought it looked pretty so I decided to make it! When I started to work on it on Friday I ended up taking it out 3 or 4 times and got so frustrated that I just decided to quit. So on saturday I started it and actually accomplished something! I am using size 11 straight needles but there are so many stitches that I am cramped on there. So hopefully before I start the next panel I will be able to buy some circulars to finish the poncho on. It would definitely make life so much easier!!!

So until I switch over to the circulars I can't really take a pic because it is too squished together to see. Maybe the pic will have to wait till I am done... then maybe I can have Pete take a picture of me with it on.... wow... won't everyone be thrilled to see my big belly under a poncho!

Strange Dreams

I am wondering... are we brainwashed at a young age to believe something?? Or is it just a principle that is ingrained into our beings that just suddenly becomes a sense of propriety???

The reason I ask? I have always been brought up that girls where dresses to church... the whole nine yards. Dress, stockings, dress shoes, nice hair.... you get the idea. The problem becomes that when one is pregnant it is VERY hard to find dress clothes for women the size of cows that don't make you look like a cow... or better yet... the side of a barn... (or is it just me??) I went to the maternity store yesterday in desperate need of a skirt. NOTHING! Well nothing modest and certainly nothing that would allow me to go stocking-less. Can you imagine a big pregnant lady trying to put on stockings?? So I leave the store empty handed after all.... IT IS TABOO TO WEAR PANTS TO CHURCH!!!

In the end I had chats with several people that I consider my closest mentors... They all agree... Wear pants if it will make you feel comfortable, never mind what people think! It is only temporary! So back to the store I go... this time with an aunt and grandmother ( worked nicer than with the hubby and dearest daughter!) And came home with three pairs of lovely pants and shirts to match.

Here is where the dream comes in! I go to sleep last night thinking... Oh my gosh! I can't where pants...what are people going to think??? I am the associate pastor's grandaughter. I then go on to dream that I walk into the church with pants, everyone so shocked I would do such a thing! Then the pastor calls an emergency meeting and says... Women are supposed to wear dresses!!! At which point half the church gets up and walks out. I wake this morning thinking OH GREAT! I caused a church split because I wore pants!

So I ask again is it brainwashing?? Hmmm.... I don't really know. I do know though, that I was SO much more comfortable today, no one said anything to me about my outfit except that I looked nice and most importantly our church congregation is still intact.....

Boy I sure will be glad when this baby comes and I stop having these weird dreams!

Kudos to Dad!

Well thanks to my dad I was able to figure some stuff out about all this computer jargon... you know the stuff behind the scenes of the blog! He helped me with the sidebar, told me how to make words into links on my posts..... Ahhh!! Gotta love dads....


So, Thanks Dad!!!

Pregnancy Woes and other things unrelated.

So I spent most of last night sleeping in some kind of upright position... heart burn.... AGAIN.

You know it just isn't fair! Men get all the best things in life: nothing that women have to deal with! But seriously now. What with the back pain from some unknown cause and the heart burn, my hubby has been so considerate. He "sat up" with me last night and waited with me till the heart burn went bye- bye... course just between you and me... I heard some snoring!

So this morning I wake to some painful contractions.... appears we may be repeating all the symptoms from Emma's pregnancy. We shall see. Let's pray they don't come back!

On a lighter note!

I have kind of been on a knitting hiatus for the past few days after finishing two hats over the weekend. But have now started a new hat for Emma. I am using a verigated yarn in different shades of pink. The cool thing is that as I am going in the rounds, the three colors are turning into these stripes that are wrapping around the hat... very cool!

When I finish the project I will post a pic.

Starting Out!

Well... here is my first post... Watch out cause I am always period happy! Makes typing much easier I think...

Check back later for a more interesting topic of conversation.

Warnings and Questions

Okay until I can ask my good friend jamie how I am supposed to put this in my sidebar I have decided to warn everyone. This will be a blog for family and friends to stay connected with our family and such. BUT it is also a place for me to share my thoughts with no one in particular. If you happen across something you didn't want to know about... well then MOVE ON! Look for what you were looking for and forget about what you saw! Anyways... consider yourself WARNED!

As for those questions. Well there is just one really! Why is it that in today's world you have to have such a vast knowledge of how to run a computer to do something as simple as posting a message on the net?? I hope that I am able to figure this crazy thing out sometime in the near future without having to enable the help of my computer savvy cousin who knows the ins and outs of every computer part known to man!