God give me strength.

Pete went to a cardiologist today. He had been having some chest pains and "weird feelings" as he called them with his heart.

So due to the fact that he has a cardiac history I begged him to go in and see a doctor. Today was the big day and here is the verdict...

He has fluid around his heart...

Okay I admit it... when he told me my heart literally jumped in my throat and I fought the urge to run to the bathroom and lose my lunch to the porcelain throne. But I held on while he told me what the doctor said... if only I had never gone to nursing school then I wouldn't always assume the worse.

The doctor asked him if he had been sick lately and he told him no. The doctor told him that IF he was older he would be worried about cancer in his lungs or heart. But since he is younger he is going to assume it is a viral infection. Okay... sounds good I guess. He also put him on some medication for the palpatations and flutterings. Something I assume will be long term. And then in a month he will have another echocardiogram (ultrasound) done on his heart and they will check the status of the fluid.

Now... really after all that the doctor had said I really shouldn't be worried. Because if the doctor was worried he would have done more tests... maybe even sent him to the hospital... but nope... just a script and an appointment in a month.

But trying to stay positive when you are already worried in the first place is so hard. The prospect of something even being remotely wrong with the person who you love more than anything in the world shakes you to your very core.

I want to believe and hope that nothing is wrong just as the doctor is doing (might I add he is the BEST cardiologist in the area) but since I tend to be a worry wart by nature and have problems being anxious ALL the time. I am afraid this next month will be a long one for me. And I am sure although he doesn't admit it, Pete is just as nervous. Who wouldn't freak out even the slightest at being told you have fluid around your heart?

So here I am... sitting and waiting... and praying that God will give me the strength to trust in Him that my husband will be around to grow old with me.

"Being careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanskgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace that passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7