Josiah: Two Months

And what a wild roller coaster ride it has been!

Within a week after your one month checkup you developed a cold. A cold that undoubtedly came from your loving family. I tried not to worry but worry I did and I rushed you into the doctor's on a thursday... the day after you got sick. They told me not to worry it was probably just a cold. Two days later I took you to the ER because you looked like you were having a hard time breathing. Same diagnosis there. Just a cold...

Somewhere deep in my heart I knew something was wrong. But I took you home anyways and just watched you all the more closely. The next day you situation got worse and I took you back to the same ER. This time they finally admitted you. By now you had developed RSV, bronchiolitis and were severely dehydrated.

It was horrible to watch them work on you that night. They would suction you with a long suction catheter stuck into your nose and pushed down past your throat. You would cry hysterically and turn all sorts of colors. I finally got to the point where I had to leave the room. I felt so sick watching my poor baby suffer. I went out into the hallway crying. A nurse (I wish I knew her name!) came and put her arm around me. After I blubbered to her about being a horrible mother for not being able to handle the stress she gently told me to not be so hard on myself... it is hard to see such a small baby suffer.

Well what was supposed to be a short 1 or 2 night stay ended up being 6 nights. Boy were we glad to get you home! By the time you came home you were 7 weeks old... the month had almost passed already!!

That next week went by fast. You were much better and your feeding situation was better as well. But last week you came down with thrush... and another cold... it just isn't fair! You have been through so much in your small life... I can't wait until you are better... spring is here and you become the happy baby I know you really are!

If nothing else this past month has taught me to how to truly lean on God! And this month also brought us your first smile! Now you smile so much... especially when mommy and daddy talk to you. But right now your favorite thing is when your little sis talks to you and points out the parts of your face. You give her a smile that could light up the night sky!

We love you so much Josiah and you are becoming a bigger part of our life more and more each day... Can't wait to see what this next month brings us!!