So yesterday I was noticing a lot of mucus... um down there... I started paying better attention and realized that I was losing chunks of it when I went to the bathroom. And to top all that off I had a good 3-4 hours yesterday of contractions that were 4 minutes apart.
Now I know I have had this problem in the past... but I never lost my mucus plug this early... And so now I am beginning to wonder if I should really take it easy. If I can get to this Sunday it would be so much better. The baby wouldn't be at a high risk of problems. And then I would be able to go to my hospital with my midwife and not the big city hospital with the NICU.
I am having a lot of feelings towards all this. There is a small part of me that kind of wishes she would come early because frankly I am tired of being pregnant. While this pregnancy hasn't been that bad physically, it has been a hard pregnancy emotionally and I am ready to be done. I also have fears that if she is born early there will be problems, she won't make it or it will compromise my one last chance to breastfeed. Ideally I would like to see her stay in there for at least for 2 1/2 more weeks. That would put me at 37 weeks. And then a lot of my fears would subside. But still.... I feel guilty about that one small part of me that wishes she would just go ahead and come if that is what is going on so I can be done with it all...
At any rate. I am wishing for one of two things right now. Either the contractions and other weird signs of labor go away until they are necessary. OR. I just go ahead and go into labor so I can get it all over with...
Don't know which one I want more. But I sure would like one or the other... Not both!
Just keeping my fingers crossed that I at least stay pregnant till Sunday 12 AM.
(Oh and another couple weeks to get Josiah sleeping better would be nice too!)
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