Signed: The Dawg

Dear Owners,

It has come to my attention that this new screaming addition to the family is here to stay. Once again ousting me out of my position in the family. In a matter of two years I have gone from Number One, to Number Two... and now finally... Number Three.

As this upsets me I have no other choice but to retaliate. In doing so you will be sure to find "accidents" more frequently, a few more chewed up tissues and of course the occasional half-eaten dirty diaper.

If you would like my outrages to stop then please, if you don't mind, grant me these few requests:

1.) I require a belly rub every day, for at least ten minutes.

2.) Regular trips outside would greatly reduce the number of "accidents".

3.) Please keep the new Number One from squealing in my ears (she hurts my ears!) and pulling on my legs.

4.) If at all possible, could you please keep the new Number Two a little quieter at night, he hurts my ears as well.

And last but certainly not least ( and definitely most important):

5.) Please... could youPLEASE stop forgetting to feed me???

Signed,

The Dawg


*****(No dogs were harmed in the writing of this post.)*****